#I'm gonna cry holy crap

[starr-n-art]

Nolia for @ydteus I did a while back

[seriousturd]

BMB Chapter 373 Moodboard

Spoilers under the cut:

How I'm gonna be looking like anytime I remember this section

[stvrkeysgal]

two can play the game — rafe cameron

๑ what happens if you let your confidence get the best of you—in the worst and best way possible?

warning: mean!rafe, fingering, rough sex 😋 unprotected sex, p in v, slight degradation if you squint, pussy spanking, orgasm denial AND overstimulation, squirting !!

pairing: rafe cameron x f!reader

rafe was not one to tolerate your teasing. he made sure that every time you misbehave, you get punished however he pleased. whether with spanking you until you're a shaking, crying mess, or teasing you by denying your orgasms—fingering you, only to pull away when he feels your cunt clenching around him.

tonight, however, you gave rafe another reason to put you in your place and give you exactly what you deserved.

rafe's parents had invited you for dinner tonight. you dressed up quite well, wore one of the many dresses that rafe loved on you—a black silk dress that fell just below your knees, thin straps that delicately fell on your shoulders, with a low cut that displayed a decent amount of your chest, but enough to still be considered formal.

you took a final look in the mirror and decided you looked good enough, then waited for rafe to pick you up.

he arrived shortly after you finished dressing up, and when you opened the front door, his eyes widen at the way you looked.

"holy shit," he mumbles, staring at you with eyes wide like saucers. "you look hot." the fact that rafe looked at you like that was already speaking volumes. but hearing him compliment you like that somehow stroke your confidence.

"yeah, you think so?" boldness strikes you as you moved closer to rafe, leaning over to place a soft, delicate kiss on his neck. rafe groans at that, one of his hands gripping your waist gently. "careful baby," he says, voice slightly grained. "might not make it to dinner if you keep doing that."

you smirk against his skin, and a hand of yours trails down to palm his hard-on through his pants. "someone's getting worked up." rafe harshly tugs your wrist away from him, glaring at you. "keep that up, i swear to god."

"sorry," you finally decided to give him a break, taking pity at the sight of him and his dick straining the fabric of his pants. "i'm gonna behave myself, i promise."

๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑

you've done nothing but infuriate rafe the whole dinner.

you sat beside sarah, while rose and ward were on both ends of the table. rafe sat across you while wheezie was on his right. his eyes were on you the whole time—seemingly watching and observing the way your lips pressed against the wine glass, or when you licked some food off your fingers and locked eyes on him while you did so.

however, you decided to turn things up a notch by sliding your feet up his legs slowly. you watched as rafe's jaw clenched and how his eyes narrowed when you neared his crotch.

he clears his throat to catch your attention, but instead, all he got was you pressing down a little bit on his hard-on. rafe exhales and runs a hand through his hair to keep himself calm.

when you noticed how worked up he was getting, you decided to cut him some slack and pulled away for now. you drank another sip of your wine, eyes still on him as you did.

๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑

after dinner, rafe finally had enough. he stood up and tugged your arms, then pulled you with him. you mutter an excuse in front of everyone, and followed him upstairs.

rafe locks the door and pushes you down on the bed, immediately getting on top of you while his hand keeps you pinned on the bed by the throat. "you know," he says, unbuckling his belt with one hand while the other grips your throat. "i've done nothing but hold myself back from getting you off that table and fuck you here."

you feel his hand growing tighter on you, and you gasp out softly for air, which rafe smirks. "you remember what i do to you every time you decide to pull that crap, yeah?" rafe's hand snaked under your dress, reaching the fabric of your panties in which he finds it soaked.

"you're so fucking wet," rafe rubbed your clit through your panties, and you moan softly at the contact. "but it's bold of you to assume i'll do anything about it." he pulled your dress off you, your panties following next. soon enough, your pussy was exposed to rafe, glistening with your wetness.

he groans at the sight and spreads your legs. you gasped softly, and saw him place himself in between you then leaned down so he was in level with your pussy. rafe's lips made contact with your clit shortly, kissing it softly as you moaned.

he was quick to stick two fingers in your mouth to shut you up—and once you were quiet enough for him, his lips reconnected with your core, lapping up your release. his tongue laid flat on you, slowly sliding up from your entrance to your clit.

he sucks the sensitive bud, swirling his tongue around it teasingly to watch your expression shift. "fuck, you like that, huh?" rafe pulls away from your pussy and landed a harsh smack on it once, making you moan against his fingers in your mouth.

another slap landed on your pussy, and rafe repeated the action until you were shaking from underneath him. "finally had enough?" you sniffled and wiped the tears away from your face. he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, which allowed you to catch your breath. "i'm sorry, rafe." he scoffs at your whine, and slid his fingers in your pussy this time.

you whimpered at the sudden stretch, and at the feeling of his fingers immediately reaching that spot deep inside you. once rafe had noticed your squirming, his fingers picked up the pace. "that's it," he said, voice slightly hoarse. "taking my fingers so well. you're such a fucking pro at taking me, aren't you?"

your eyes roll back in your head, taking in his words and his thrusts. "fuck," you gasped, feeling him hit your spot repeatedly. once rafe felt you clench around his fingers, he pulls away immediately. "come on, rafe! i was so close—"

he slaps your face lightly, stunning and shutting you up at the same time. rafe had never done that to you before—and seeing this new side of him has your thighs clenching together. "thought you knew better than to misbehave. and did around my whole goddamn family, too."

rafe pulls you on the edge of the bed, standing up to wrap your legs around his. "you want to act like a bitch, i'll fuck you like one."

๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑

rafe had you pinned underneath him on his bed, one hand of his placed over your mouth as you squirmed and thrashed against him. "come on. you knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to play that shit."

you were a sobbing mess under him, your face was streaked with your drying tears as he fucked you like there was no tomorrow.

your makeup was ruined—mascara and eyeliner ran down your face. you looked so fucked out, all because of rafe and your "undying ego," as rafe had called it.

your pussy clenches around his dick once he hits your spot, and a loud gasp leaves your lips as you clung onto his shoulders for support. "rafe, fuck... i'm sorry, please."

rafe smirks at the sight of you losing your mind underneath him, taking pride in the fact that he was the one to cause your state. "shut the fuck up, alright?" he says through gritted teeth, slapping your face. "you wanted to act up and piss me off the whole fucking time. 'm just giving what sluts like you deserve."

rafe's movements sped up, his thrusts growing faster in hopes of seeing your eyes roll back to your head once again.

his hips slammed against yours with such intensity, his tip kissing your cervix each time he thrusts.

a bulge could be seen from your stomach, a proof of how deep he was going and how much of him you've taken. rafe gripped your hair and moved your head to let you see the tummy bulge he was causing. "you see that?" he pressed on it, while his lips curled into a smirk while he watched you fall apart from his cock.

"that's how well you're taking me, baby. 'm so fucking deep inside you, shit." you didn't know if it was ever possible, but rafe was now fucking you so fast, the whole thing made you see stars.

you clenched around rafe's dick again, your grip in his hands growing tighter as he moved against you. "gonna cum for me again, huh?" rafe's hand snaked in between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing it fast, in time with his thrusts.

"wanna feel you cum all over me, come on." you bit your lip in order not to draw attention from his family outside, and faced the pillows as you moaned against it. your orgasm washes over your body—an unfamiliar heat blooms in the bottom of your stomach then.

the next thing you know, your release spurts out of you, drenching the sheets underneath and rafe's stomach. "that's my girl," he says, grinning at the sight of you squirting.

he pulled out after a while and laid beside you. rafe kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back in small circles as you panted and caught your breath. "you okay, baby?" rafe asks, looking down at you. "'m fine, rafe." you smiled at him and kissed his cheek softly.

"too rough?" you replied with a shake of your head and buried your face in his neck. "i loved it." rafe chuckles at that and leans down to kiss your lips.

"you should tease me like that more often, especially if it leads to this."

this MIGHT have been one of the dirtiest, filthiest and smuttiest work i've done so far. FUCKKKK I LOVE OVULATION WEEK 😫🙏🏻

drew / rafe's masterlist

[militaryapple]

Hi, I'm not sure if you're taking request but I love the way you write Caleb ☺️ Is it possible you can do a cute little fake dating troupe in college with Caleb?

It goes like, reader (non MC) and Caleb are friends and reader wanted a bf but she can't find one so she tried out this "men will start chasing you when you have a bf" theory with Caleb when Caleb thinks this is an opportunity to do couple things with his crush 🫢

wc. 939.

add ons: hii yes I can!! so glad u guys love my caleb he's so crazy I miss him

college. it was definitely something. work load 20 times heavier, professors who don’t really give a fuck wether you live or die or right, and dating. how you loathed the couples in your university. was it because you were unable to get a boyfriend yourself? maybe. was it also because half of every guy on campus was either a massive jerk, a guy in a frat or taken? maybe.. partly.. yeah.

everytime you were close to finding a guy, a perfect suitable guy who was funny or sweet or kind— he had to bail or he already had a girlfriend! yeah, total dreamboat. you could only sigh at the thought of you and someone on a date, going to the movies or watching some corny movie. wow you were really single and mindlessly scrolling on social media wasn’t helping your case one bit. post after post, jesus how did they do it? then you had an idea.

maybe you were pathetic and desperate.. oh fuck you’re in college. what’s worse? graduating with no love life or dying without someone who loves you. yeah, you would take your chances.

you silently typed up on your phone “how to become more attractive to men”. was it weird? yes. did you care? not really. it’s not your roommate was here, she would go on about how “life is amazing without a lover!” and “you don’t need to cry over a man!” in which she was silently resigned everytime you brought up how she had a boyfriend. so it’s come to this. better now than never anyways.

“men like taken woman, gives them a chase.” well fuck! that was your issue from the start?! what were you gonna do? get a boyfriend out of thin air to make guys ma— then you heard a knock.

you closed out of the tab as you walk to your dorm door, opening it as your gaze shifted upward, and holy mother of pearls did you find the holy grail. he was your answer.

“hey, pipsqueak!” caleb said as he held his arms out for you waiting for a hug, just to be greeted by a grab on the wrist and a soft ‘thud’ on your bed. you stared up at him, inspecting him closely. caleb was a perfect candidate! he could be your fake boyfriend!

.

.

“be my fake boyfriend.”

you were met with small chuckle as he covered his mouth and muffled out apologies. you were embarrassed, god this was embarrassing. if only you could rewind 2 minutes. god god god.

caleb smiled widely, “are you sure you want me as your fake boyfriend? what’s this even for anyways, pipsqueak?” his eyes soften as he got more comfortable on your bed. you could only smile in content. he didn’t say no, so you’ll take that as a win.

“guys are more attracted to you when you have a boyfriend.” you said shoving your phone in his face. he scanned over the phone closely before pushing your hand down to look at you. god were you pretty.

“that’s.. not real pipsqueak.” he said trying to cover his laugh. were you serious about this? you couldn’t actually believe this crap. this is why caleb prefers for you to come to him for this sort of thing, not some lousy thread you found on a very sketchy site. though he couldn’t just trample on your dreams so he went along with it, even if it was funny.

“I’m serious!” you snapped back. “just for a while, until someone shows interest in me! well more interest than my supposed boyfriend.. please caleb?” you begged, and he could never say no to you. you jumped up happily before leaning in for a hug but instead you were met by a subtle push and “ah-ah”. you looked at caleb puzzled as he got up. his arms moving to your hip while he leaned down, his and your breath almost kissing.

“if im gonna be your boyfriend for a while pipsqueak, don’t I deserve a little reward for helping you out?” he smiled, “even if it’s a fake we have to get used to kissing.”

kissing.

your first kiss, would be him.

you stared up at awe, he was handsome. just one kiss, it wouldn’t be bad right? you were flustered but no backing down now. better make this as real as possible.

You nodded in subtle approval before you leaned in, your lips touching as his grip on you held tighter. his free hand cupping your face. he was a natural at kissing, his movements were tender and he was so gentle with you. it was as if he didn’t want to wreck you. caleb moved his head back, breaking away from the sweet moment. “okay then, it’s official.” he said softly.

caleb would take you out often, every week, everyday to be exact and there seemed to be absolutely no luck with other guys. it’s not like it mattered anyways though, you were having fun with caleb, almost like he was your actual boyfriend.

as for caleb, this was perfect, he was almost glad he checked on you the day he did. you were a dream, and this “fake boyfriend” idea? would soon wash away when you start to only think of him as your actual boyfriend. taking you out, kissing you, holding you while you’re upset. everything.

as for the guys who chase you around? haha as if! he personally made sure on your first day of university that everyone knew you were his. well it doesn’t matter, it worked out either way. for both you and him.

[desi2go]

What if it changed everything?

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

pairing: idol!Seungmin x reader

warnings: angst, pregnancy, fluff, comfort

summary: After a one night of pleasure with a member of the famous kpop group Stray Kids, you find out that you are pregnant. What will you do?

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

Twenty minutes later, Sanha burst through your apartment door with a heroic smile.

"Where is my mama-to-be?" She yelled, balancing a grocery bag in one hand and a six-pack if the promised ice tea in the other.

"I've brought everything for our little celebration! Tea because you're boring now, snacks and lots of ice cream. And our favourite pizzas are ordered and will arrive here shortly!"

Still smiling from the latest events, you poked your head out if the kitchen, shaking your head in disbelief. "I'm pregnant not ancient"

"Same thing" your best friend shrugged, dumping the bag on your kitchen table before enveloping you into a tight hug. Then, she leaned down to your belly, playfully poking you as if your little bean would already feel it.

"Heard that beanie? You gotta stay in there for a while before you can meet your sassy aunt! But don't go so hard in your mama" she exclaimed, tickling you from time to time. You giggled, swatting at her.

"Oh I hope this kid won't be a troublemaker" you prayed. Sanha winked at you playfully, filling herself a glass of ice tea.

"This is insane. I mean, holy crap, I’m gonna be the hottest, coolest aunt ever. You know that, right? And if you need a babysitter, I can take care of beanie” she promised with an enthusiastic nod.

"I don't know..." you teased with a big smirk. "You just spilled your tea on my floor"

Sanha hadn't even noticed that her glass had spilled over from all her dramatic and generous movements. Immediately she perked down and laughed. "Ups" you threw a paper towel at her and quickly, she destroyed the evidence of her clumsiness.

"And for the record! This doesn't say anything about my ability to babysit"

You snorted, grabbing the gummy bears and the ice cream from the grocery bag and let yourself fall onto the couch.

"Well, but your orchids do. They are now more or less dry plants" you stated, earning a playful outraged gasp.

"Okay, I admit that I don't have a green thumb" she replied, already munching on some gummy bears as she collapsed onto the couch, stretching out over the cushions like she owned this place. "But luckily, your little bean isn't a plant that I can forget to water"

"True" you giggled, rubbing your belly without even noticing.

"It's still so unbelievable that I will be a mother" you admitted after a second of silence where both of you only ravaged through the sweet treats.

"Yeah, suddenly, it's real, isn't it?"

You hummed, looking down at your stomach that will grow bigger and bigger over the following months. "It's terrifying. And kind of wonderful"

Samba reached over and squeezed your hand. "You're gonna be amazing. And this little beanie?" She pointed to your stomach. "Already has the coolest mama in the world"

You grinned at her words. "Stop, you're gonna make me cry again"

"No problem. I brought tissues too." Your best friend smirked, wiggling her eyebrows as she held the box high in the air.

"See? I'm such a good auntie"

Before you could reply, your doorbell rang. Sanha rubbed her hands together happily. "Our pizzas are there! I'm already starving" with a great speed, she jumped up from her spot on the couch which made you wonder how much coffee she had today. When it comes to food, Sanha was feisty and a diva.

Slowly, not making the effort to beat her to the door, you instead got another glass of ice tea for yourself.

"Hey! Where's the pizza?" You heard her ask curiously as soon as she had joyfully swung open the door.

Someone cleared their throat awkwardly. "Actually, I'm not the delivery guy. Is this Y/n's apartment?" You stilled in your tracks when you recognized the voice, willing your head around and quickly poking your head out of the kitchen.

When you stepped into the hallway, you saw how your best friend had straightened her back, tension visible.

"Are you that Seungmin guy who had ran off like an asshole?" She asked, her voice dangerously low and so different from her usual sweetness that you were shocked.

"Well, um. Yeah, I'm Seungmin. I-is she here? Can I talk to Y/n?" his voice wavered and his eyes tried to look past your best friend.

You sighed and walked forward, stepping into his vision. Immediately, his eyes lit up and he deeply exhaled. "Y/n! Please, can we talk?" He pleaded, looking like a kicked puppy.

You patted Sanha's shoulder with a small smile, telling her that it's okay and you could handle him on your own. "You sure? I could deal with him." She whispered but you only shook your head. You were thankful for her protectiveness but this was something you and Seungmin needed to speak about alone without anyone interrupting.

With one deadly look to the black haired man, wiggling her two fingers in front of his face to indicate that she will keep an eye on him. She turned and went back into the living room. You shut the door behind you as you stepped out into the dimly lit hallway to give you both some privacy.

"What are you doing here, Seungmin? And how do you even have my address?" judgemental, you crossed your arms in front of your body, pulling the hoodie tighter around your form as if you wanted to protect your baby from the possible threat that he was.

He brushed his hair back and cleared his throat. "I got your address from the NDA and I'm here to talk about our baby" he whispered the last part, casting his eyes down.

Your eyebrows were knitted as you observed his form. He looked guilty and shameful about how he had treated you the last time he saw you. Good, he was an asshole.

Even though you could understand his panic, it didn't meant that he didn't need to work for your forgiveness.

"Really? I thought that you made it clear that you want nothing to do with me or the baby" you stated, voice tight and accusing.

"Look. I'm sorry. I was overwhelmed and I know that's not excusing my behaviour"

"And you believe that I'm not overwhelmed? I'm the one pregnant for god's sake" you muttered, puffing air out of your lungs. By the mention of the pregnancy, his gaze shot towards your belly which was hidden safely by the big cardigan. As if he could already see anything.

"I'm so sorry that I was so selfish. I know it's even harder for you" he replied, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as his gaze traveled several times between your belly and your face.

"Are you s-still? Have you- do you?" He scrambled over his words, his cheeks reddening and scratching the back of his head. He was clearly uncomfortable and awkward to ask. If you didn't know what he was implying you would think that he was crazy.

"I went to a clinic today to terminate the pregnancy" you answered, observing his facial expressions but you couldn't tell if he was happy or sad.

"So there is no baby anymore?" His question came hesitant as if he wasn't sure of he was allowed to even ask.

"I couldn't do an abortion." You finally admitted, rubbing without noticing over your still flat belly. "I'm keeping it"

He deeply inhaled. "Okay, okay. Congratulations I guess." He suddenly stopped speaking, thinking about his next words with care. "I don't let you go through this alone. I want to be in this baby's life. And not just through financial aid."

"We barely know eachother, Seungmin" you said, crossing your arms tighter around your body. "It was just one night. That's all it was supposed to be"

"I know" Lowering his voice, he nodded. "But that one night changed everything. Wether we like it or not... we're connected now"

"Do you know what it felt like finding out I was pregnant? With no clue what kind of person you really are?” He looked like he wanted to speak, but you cut him off with a hand

“I’m not asking for a relationship. I don’t want some forced fairytale because of a mistake. But this baby…” you placed a hand over your stomach again, “deserves more than someone who bolts the second things get real."

Seungmin stepped back slightly, guilt washing over his features. "I'm not asking for a relationship either. I just-" he hesitated, his voice tight as he formed the next words. "I want to be there. For you and the baby. If you'll let me"

You studied him for a moment, feeling the old anger curl up beside a newer feeling—cautious curiosity. “I’m not promising anything,” you said finally. “But if you’re serious, if you really want to be involved… then show up. Consistently. Respect my boundaries. And prove that you're not going to vanish again the second this gets inconvenient and it may threaten your career as an idol.”

He nodded quickly, head bopping up and down firmly and eyes locking with yours that showed gratitude. “I will. I swear I will.”

You exhaled slowly, hand grabbing the door handle. "Here's my phone number" he mumbled, scribbling the numbers on an unused tissue he had in his pocket of his leather jacket you knew from your first meeting.

Nodding thankfully, you grabbed the tissue and stepped back into the safety of your apartment where Sanha already waited for you, hot on her toes. She bounced on her feet as if she was ready to pounce at Seungmin the minute you opened your mouth.

"Do I need to unalive him and bury his body?" She asked completely unfazed and serious. You snorted.

"No! Of course not!"

Dramatically, she exhaled gratefully, winking at you. "Puh, and I already planned where I would bury him"

You two went back to the couch, letting you fall against the soft cushions and already diving into the bowl with gummy bears.

"And what did he want?" your best friend questioned with her mouth full with food, just like you knew her.

"He said sorry and wants to be a part of the child's life" you shrugged your shoulders, leaning your head on her arm. Gently, she patted your hair before dropping some gummies into your mouth.

"Is that good? I mean are you fine with that?"

You hummed. "I guess so. I mean, I can't forbid it. And maybe some help is good, especially with how expensive baby stuff is nowadays"

"I know! On the way here I looked up some sweet clothes in the internet and was shocked how pricey they are!"

"Yeah, my bank account is going to cry. But I think, he might be a good dad. Or at least I hope so" you murmured.

"If he isn't, I'm going to kick his ass" Sanha exclaimed with a big smirk.

❤☯❤

The next few weeks were turbulent. Between morning sickness and classes, you had gotten invited for a job interview in the same little café where Sanha worked. She had put in a good word for you and after a successful trail work, you had the job. It definitely wasn't much money but at least something to pay your rent with.

With the time passing, you knew you had no choice but to tell other people your small secret named bean. Your college had to be informed. And, which you dreaded the most, your parents who still weren't talking to each other.

You could practically see your mother's disappointed face in your mind. How she will shake her head while making a grimace.

"Welcome to the shit show" you mumbled as you stepped into the small restaurant where you were meeting your parents. Well, they didn't know they would be spending lunch with each other. Otherwise, they wouldn't have come.

Just as you entered the restaurant, you could already hear the two squabblers. Sighing, you tightened your hold around your bag where you had safely put the sonogram.

"What the heck are you doing here?!" Your mother exclaimed loudly.

"I'm spending dinner with my daughter!" Your father growled, knitting his eyebrows.

"Hey mom, dad" you greeted them first when they didn't recognise you because of their fighting.

"Did you plan that?" your mother sternly asked.

You nodded. "Yes, because I have to tell you something important" as you gestured them to sit down with you, they hesitantly obliged. After ordering your food, you knew you had to tell them. But that didn't make it any less scary. With each passing minute, you felt your throat closing.

"What do you want to tell us, sweetheart?" Your father then questioned, laying his hand on top of yours which rested on the table. From the corner of your eyes, you saw your mom rolling her eyes at the gesture.

While clearing your throat, you pulled the sonogram out of your bag and put it on the table.

"I'm pregnant" you said, quietly observing their reactions. They both stilled in their actions, eyes wide. Your mother took the photo in her hands, staring at it as if it would bring her the answer why her daughter had messed up in life.

The silence was defeating. You could have heard a pin drop to the ground right now.

"Where is the father? Is it your boyfriend- d-do you have a boyfriend?" She scrambled, voice tight, already judging.

"No. I got pregnant from an one night stand."

"Wow, what a surprise. I definitely didn't expect that" your father tried to lighten the mood, clasping his hands together and giving you a small smile.

"From a stranger? Are you kidding me? Didn't you use protection?"

"Come on. She is probably scared as well. Don't be so harsh on her" He tried to soothe his ex wife who only glared at him with knitted eyebrows.

"Harsh? She is pregnant! How should she raise a child when she isn't even finished with college? She will throw her life away!" the grey haired woman argued, turning to your father as if you weren't right there.

They both bickered back and forth for a while even when your meals arrived they didn't mind to stop fighting.

"Mom, Dad. Stop! Okay? I know you two only want the best for me but fighting doesn't solve anything! I chose to keep the baby because I want to and I want you to respect my decision. The father and I are in contact and he's helping me more than you two are now." You raised your voice slightly to overtone their conversation.

Your mother sighed and for the first time since the beginning of your get-together, her gaze softened and a small smile appeared.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have reacted that way but this is a huge change. I just want the best for you and if you want the baby, I'm there to help"

"I will be there for you too. Whatever it is, come to us" your father added and you were impressed that suddenly they could actually hold a conversation without clawing at eachother.

Gratefully, you took their hands. "Thanks"

❤☯❤

Meeting with Seungmin was now a bit strange. Not that you had anything against his presence, not at all, but your dynamics were just a bit weird.

You had just hooked up for one night and now you were the mother of his child. You weren't friends or boyfriend and girlfriend now. It was awkward. And that weird mixture made you hesitant on how you should approach him. Should you tell him when you have your next appointments? Would he even care?

Your ringing phone broke through your train of thoughts. It was Seungmin.

"Hey Y/n" you heard his voice through the speaker.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I just wanted to ask when your next appointment is."

"This Friday. Why?" You asked, currently swirling your spoon in your soup that will hopefully help keeping something down. Surely, you wouldn't miss the nausea after the baby was out.

"Like I said. I want to be there for you and if you're up for it, I would gladly accompany you" his voice became thin at the end as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask.

You, on the other hand, were surprised that he even asked. "Yes, you can come."

Hearing how he breathed out relieved, you could imagine how he was pumping his fist up in the air in success.

"Great! I'll come pick you up then. When is the appointment?"

You hummed. "10 a.m"

"Okay, I'll be there 9:30 to get you" he said as a goodbye and you hung up. Well, you were excited to see where your journey was going.

❤☯❤

You didn't know why you were so nervous in the first place. It was just a regular checkup with an ultrasound. Nothing special. Yet, here you were, standing in front your mirror. Judging, you turned from left to right, critically observing your clothes and your body.

You didn't know why you suddenly felt so bloated. Sure, you were already in the third month of your pregnancy but was it normal to feel so big?

Well, you didn't look pregnant, rather as if you had too much to eat and a food baby. Unsatisfied, you ran your hands over your dark blue shirt and over the small swelling of your belly. People would definitely assume that you ate too much, great.

Should you choose the looser blouse instead of a t shirt? You sighed in defeat and undressed quickly with an eye to the clock.

Seungmin would be here in about ten minutes and you weren't even near ready. Honestly, you didn't know why you were so indecisive. Usually, you didn't mind what you wore but today? Nothing could satisfy you.

Luckily, you somewhat liked the blouse on you and quickly applied some makeup, ignoring the clothes you had carelessly pulled out of your wardrobe.

As the doorbell rang, you jumped up and opened the door for Seungmin.

The first thing you noticed was how good he looked. Despite the baseball cap that hung low into his face and the same jacket he had worn when you had first met, he looked stunning.

His eyes wandered up and down your body, pausing slightly at your slightly bulging belly where his eyes got big but instead of disgust, he looked amazed and happy.

"You look gorgeous" he whispered after a minute of staring, his gaze still fixed on your belly.

You giggled, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear as redness crept up your cheeks. "Thank you"

"You're showing a bit" he murmured more to himself.

You hummed, shifting your weight from one foot to the other in slight shame. Does he like your protruding bump?

His hand was lifted as if he wanted to touch your belly but he stopped himself in the movement. You cleared your throat.

"I have read that the fetus should be the size of a plump or a kiwi" you mentioned and his gaze shot up in confusion.

"It's this tiny? I thought it was already bigger. Like the size of a coconut..." He replied with a shocked face and shrugging his shoulder.

You raised your eyebrows and couldn't contain the laughter that escaped you.

"A coconut? Really? What do you think is this baby? Hulk?"

Cutely, he blushed and averted his gaze. "Well, maybe I was a little off with my assumption" he stated with a snort before looking quickly on his watch.

"We should get going. Otherwise we will be late"

You nodded and got your bag from inside your apartment. "Okay I'm ready"

You followed him to his car and sat down in the passenger seat. Safely, he navigated you both to the gynecologist. The air was filled with a comfortable silence as you observed your environment as it passed you by.

"Alright, here we are" he said any jumped up from his seat to open your door. Blushing, you bowed thankfully and lead the way inside. You already knew the receptionist who told you to wait shortly before you were called into the examination room.

While you where totally chill,Seungmin nearly seemed to spill over with anxiety and nervousness. Judgemental, you observed how he fiddled with his rings or tapped his fingers against his leg.

"What got you so nervous?" You curiously asked, tilting your head to the side.

"Nothing. It's just the first time I'll see our baby"

You were a liar if you said that the way he casually called the fetus our baby didn't move anything within you. In fact, you were sure that your heart was doing Loopings. Who had thought that those words could lead to such a reaction? Crazy.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine." You soothed him.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just overjoyed, you know?"

You nodded as you could fully understand how he felt. You felt the same feeling right now.

Soon, you were called into the examination room and already jumped onto the table while Seungmin took a seat right next to you so he could observe the monitor just like you did.

"Nice to see you again, Mrs. L/n. Next week, you will be in the second trimester. Exciting right? That's often the most comfortable state of the whole pregnancy"

You sighed happily. "I hope so. The morning sickness is killing me" Your doctor chuckled at your statement and already pressed some gel onto your exposed belly.

While she spread the gel and started the examination, you quietly observed Seungmin from the corner of your eyes. He seemed happy, really overjoyed to see the little bean on the monitor for the first time. A small smile danced over his lips and never vanished as he was in absolute awe.

You only listened with one ear when the doctor showed the forming body of your baby on the monitor since you were too distracted watching Seungmin like a lovesick teenager. But something inside of you loved the sight of him being at your side during the checkups.

"Should I print the pictures?" The doctor asked and broke you out of your thoughts.

"Yes, please." Seungmin immediately answered, looking at you for approval. You nodded happily.

"Could we get some more photos? I have quite the big family." Seungmin explained.

"Alright" the doctor said, handing him the small stack which he clutched safely in his hands.

"Everything seems normal." She examined, moving the ultrasound over your belly.

"And this is the heartbeat" she tipped a button on the machine and the steady sound of the tiny heart could be heard.

Seungmin gasped, his eyes not leaving the display where your little bean was displayed. Without noticing he took your hand and crossed his fingers with yours. Gently, you messaged his hand.

"It's way slower than before" you stated, comparing it to the first time you heard the heartbeat. The doctor nodded, explaining that the fast heartbeat will slow down as your pregnancy progresses.

"So it isn't dangerous?" Seungmin asked irritated, knitting his eyebrows as his hold on your hand tightened.

The doctor smiled gently and declined. "The baby is developing well. In a few weeks, we will do another examination and maybe even find out the gender"

You nodded excitedly, wiping the gel from your belly with a paper towel. Then, Seungmin and you left the clinic. The black haired seemed to be in the best mood now, still holding one of the photos in his hand and staring at it with a wide grin.

"It's so cute!" He whispered, snapping a photo with his phone and typing something.

"Yeah, I can't wait to meet the little bean" you answered, laying a hand on your belly.

"Little bean?" He asked, looking up. You shrugged your shoulders. "It's a nickname the baby"

"Why bean? Why do you compare our baby with food?" He mused, smirking teasingly.

"Because it's cute. And what do you think I should call it?" You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

"What about puppy? It's way cuter than bean."

You squeezed your eyes together. "Pup? Just because your skzoo is a puppy?" You snorted, grinning playfully.

"Well, that's one reason. But puppies are cute and tiny"

"I still like beanie more"

He shrugged his shoulders. "You didn't even consider it" he poured with a flint of joy in his eyes, opening the door of the car for you.

"Can I treat you for lunch? I mean, I totally get it if your tired and want to go home but I still need to apologise properly for running like a coward." He scratched his neck while his cheeks turned redder with every word.

You stilled since you hadn't expected such an offer from him. Actually, you thought that he wouldn't bring that situation up ever again. But this was a good surprise.

"Yes, I'd love to. Food is the best bait for pregnant women" He giggled and shut the door after you had sat down in the passenger seat. "I figured"

“So, pick your poison. What do you crave right now? Salty? Sweet? Pickles dipped in Nutella?” he grinned at the thought of you munching on some of the weirdest combinations.

You laughed wholeheartedly. “Honestly? I could kill for a giant plate of spaghetti. Like, drowning in parmesan. And an ice - a big one with sprinkels”

Seungmin's face lit up and he nodded. “Done. I know a place.”

❤☯❤

Soon, you sat across from him at the small Italian restaurant, fingers lightly drumming on the napkin in her nap.

After ordering food, the comfortable silence turned into a relaxed conversation and you actually enjoyed the time with him. Maybe a bit too much if you were honest. You knew that he was just spending time with you because of the baby but a part of you wanted so desperately to believe that there was another reason.

"By the way. My friends, the other members of straykids want to meet you. Well, you already knew that I am an idol and you definitely figured out to which group I belong" He stated.

You snorted. "Of course I knew. Well, technically, Sanha found out while she was googling your name"

His eyes widened a little. "The friend I met a few weeks ago? The one that opened the door, thinking that I was the delivery guy?"

You grinned while nodded. "Jup, that's her"

"She seems scary" he admitted, smirking playfully.

Snorting, you replied. "Well, she's just very protective but actually, she is just a big golden retriever with a big heart and appetite."

He laughed again, showing you his handsome smile. "So, are you up for it? For meeting the members? It's okay if you don't want to, they are a handful"

"No, it's okay. Just pick a date that's manageable with your schedule"

He nodded gratefully, already feeling giddy at the thought of his most important persons in his life together in one room.

When the food arrived, it was everything you wanted: perfectly twirled spaghetti drowning in rich tomato sauce and buried under what had to be half a block of parmesan. You sighed happily after the first bite.

“Okay,” you said, pointing at your plate. “You’re officially forgiven for bolting the other day.”

Seungmin raised his glass of sparkling water in mock solemnity. “To redemption by pasta.”

Later, as the sky turned gold and the streetlights flickered on, you wandered through the park with ice cream cones in hand—mango sorbet for you, mint chocolate chip for him.

“You know,” Seungmin said, nudging your arm, “I read that sorbet eaters are statistically more dramatic.”

“Was the source even trustworthy?” you questioned, licking your ice. “Probably. Might’ve made that one up.” He glanced at you, a playful glint in his eyes.

“But I do know this for sure—”Before you could react, he reached over and dabbed the tip of your nose with his ice cream. A tiny dollop of mint chocolate chip stuck there, cold and sticky.

You gasped, eyes squeezed together . “Are you serious?” He was already laughing. “You looked like you needed a little decoration."

You narrowed your eyes further and pouted heavily. Then, an idea came to your mind and quicker as he could react, you grabbed the hand that was holding the ice cream cone when he wanted to take another lick and pressed his hand up. The ice cream smeared all over his mouth up to his nose.

“There. Now we match.” you exclaimed proudly while he gave you a grumpy stare before breaking and laughing along with you. You stood there laughing, playful and unguarded. It was ridiculous, and sweet, and strangely easy.

Instinctively, Seungmin reached out and wiped the sorbet from your nose with the pad of his thumb, his touch soft and brief.

“You had a little…” he murmured, his voice quieter now. Your eyes locked. For a moment, the world around you faded into background noise—just the fading sun, the melting ice cream, and something unspoken beginning to stir between you.

“Thanks,” you said, suddenly aware of the warmth in your cheeks.

“Anytime,” he replied, a little breathless. You kept walking, a bit closer now. The park stretched out ahead, and something else—something new—walked quietly beside you that made your heart beat faster than ever before. Maybe this baby, this connection between you and Seungmin wasn't so bad after all.

❤☯❤

"How do I look?" you questioned for the tenth time while spinning a few times. Sanha sighed, laying on your bed, her belly facing upwards as she examined your next outfit while being upside-down.

"You look like a pregnant woman." She said, throwing a gummy bear into her mouth. "But a beautiful one"

Rolling your eyes, you threw the T-shirt you had worn in the previous outfit at her but she dodged it successfully. "You already sat that with the last outfits"

Laughing, she rolled onto her stomach. "Because it's true! You look gorgeous in everything"

"Well, that's not going to help me" you scoffed, already slipping out of the current T-shirt and jeans. Furthermore, good outfits got so much rarer when your belly started swelling. Jeans were now more uncomfortable and some T-Shirts were now rather cropped than their normal length.

You were officially in your second trimester and, thank god, the morning sickness has minimized so that you could actually brush your teeth without having the need to vomit. That was such a relief. The baby was now the size of a grapefruit, well, your pregnancy app was stating that.

"What about a dress? They wanted to meet you at their dorms, right?" Sanha asked, standing up with a yawn and pushed you gently to the side to dive right into your wardrobe.

"Yes, Seungmin will come get me and then, I'll finally meet the other members" you recalled what the black haired man had said on the phone a week ago. Proudly, your best friend presented the dress she had picked out for you. A cute white summer dress with blue flowers that looked like they had been drawn onto the dress with watercolours.

"I bet this will show your bump in the cutest way" she squealed and pushed it into your arms. "Plus, it's way more comfy than a jeans and I just know that loverboy can't keep his eyes off of you"

"Okay, you're right. I'll try it on" you murmured, slipping it on. The soft, loose fabric fell over your bump and created soft waves.

"Look? Gorgeous. Problem solved" she fist-bumped you with a wide grin.

Dramatically, you sighed. "What would I do without you?"

"Well, you wouldn't have anyone who gets your special cravings" she shrugged, giving you a light hug. Your doorbell ringed and Sanha practically jumped to the door to answer. Quickly, you just managed to yell that she should at least be nice to him.

After searching for your bag, you followed Sanha. "Don't bring her home late, understood?" she said with knitted eyebrows and managed in a weird way to look down on the taller boy.

"I'm not a baby" you put your hands on your hips as soon as you appeared behind Sanha while shaking your head. Your best friend turned her head towards you and smirked. "No, but a Mama who needs her sleep" she winked at you. Without having Seungmin to notice, she mimicked how she thought he would look at you. Indicating how his eyes were big and his mouth wide agape. You snorted as you saw the exact same look on his face what he just answered with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey" you said to the black haired who returned it while a blush spread over his cheeks and along his neck. Well, Sannie was right. That dress really did things to Seungmin. Good.

You brushed your hair behind your ear and gave him a small smile. "Are you ready?" He asked to which you nodded and gave Sanha a tight hug before slipping out if your apartment. She had insisted on 'babysitting' your apartment for the evening of course only for your netflix account but you knew that she wanted to see if he brought you home safely.

That was 100% clear after she shot him another deadly look and mimicked with her hand how she would decapitate him. He swallowed thickly and nodded.

You exited your apartment and quickly shut the door to get away from Sanha before she could actually unalive him.

"Okay, I need to warn you that they are very chaotic and loud" Seungmin murmured as he shot down the engine in front of the apartment building where the dorms were. You snorted. "I don't mind. I have experience with that" you commented and had your best friend in mind.

Before you could exit the car, his voice stopped you. "By the way, you look stunning today. This dress compliments you" he whispered and quickly looked away while his face reddened.

A smile formed on your lips and you brushed your hair behind your ear in a shy manner. You definitely hadn't expected such words from his mouth.

"Thank you" you answered happily, the last bits of insecurity for choosing this dress was resolving and internally, you thanked Sanha for pushing you out of your comfort zone.

"Let's meet the guys" Seungmin replied, leading you into the building until he stopped in front of a door, rummaging through his jean's pocket to find his key.

As soon as he unlocked it, you could hear loud chattering and someone shouting while pots clanked in the background.

"When will Seungmin's girlfriend finally be here? I wanna meet her" someone exclaimed whiney.

"We're already here, Jisung" Seungmin mumbled, stepping out of his shoes before helping you since the baby bump made you shaky when standing only on one leg.

Quickly, a man with blond died hair appeared in front of you, dressed in a yellow sweater. That must be Felix, you thought.

Okay, you admitted that you had googled every singly member before coming here. But that's understandable, right? Who could blame you? You knew nothing about them at first. What impression would that have made?

"Oh my god! You must be Y/n! It's so nice to meet you" he exclaimed in excitement, his deep voice a total contrast to his warm nature. Before you could react, he opened his arms and hugged you tight.

"Geez, Felix let her breathe" Seungmin mouthed, patting his friend on the back. Quickly, you were set free again and Felix bowed.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. But you waved him off. "It's okay. I love hugs" you winked at him in a friendly manner.

The blond haired lead the way further into their home and stopped in their dining room which was connected to their kitchen. The other members looked up as you entered.

"Hey, nice to meet you all" you said shyly, not being used to have eight pairs of eyes on you.

"Hello Y/n! Seungmin already told us so much about you" their leader named Chan greeted you with kindness, offering you a seat at the dining table.

The man with longer black hair was still preparing the food, cutting up some fruits and vegetables while Chan stirred something in one of the pots. Two other members reached behind the counter and quickly stole some fruit slices as the black haired wasn't looking.

"Ya! Seo Changbin and Han Jisung! You can eat soon enough you gluttons" he scolded, you assumed that was Minho, while waving the knife in the air.

"I'm hungry!" Changbin exclaimed with a pout.

"You're always hungry" you heard Felix complain.

Seungmin sighed next to you burying his face in his hands. "See? That's why I warned you beforehand."

The youngest, Jeongin, the one with orangey dyed hair smiled widely at you. "So, you're the one Seungmin got pregnant?"

You nodded with a wink. "Jup that's me."

"I wonder how he could get someone so pretty like you to sleep with him" he laughed even more when he got a deadly look from Seungmin.

Seungmin just sighed while Hyunjin appeared in front of you. "You look gorgeous in this dress!" He squealed with a radiant smile.

"Thanks" you mumbled shyly.

"How far along are you? You're already having this cute baby bump" he asked, curiously, gesturing to your belly.

"Fifteen weeks already" you replied, gazing at your swollen belly with a tender look. Hyunjin coped at you, questioning if he maybe can touch your belly.

"Oh my god. I didn't think it would be rather hard! I thought they should be soft" he exclaimed, eyes wide open in a curious manner.

"Ey, Hyunjin. Don't be rude to Y/n!" Seungmin chimed in from the other part of the room.

The other male gasped dramatically. "I'm not rude! I'm curious"

You giggled at Seungmin's protectiveness, thinking about it as a sign of care. "It's okay. I don't mind."

"Alright. Dinner's ready" Minho announced and together with Chan, he brought the filled pots to the table. The others, especially Jisung suddenly appeared at the table like they were summoned by the smell of food. Seungmin took the seat right next to you, helping you to sit down comfortably and already filling your plate.

His members watched in awe as they never have seen their second youngest take care of someone so naturally. They weren't blind. They saw how Seungmin looked at you, the smitten gaze spoke for itself.

"Did you find out the gender yet?" Changbin asked, shoveling food into his mouth. You shook your head.

"No, not yet. But we're about to find out at the next appointment" you mused, turning slightly to Seungmin who smiled proudly. "I can't wait" he murmured, brushing a strand of hair out of his face.

"What about a gender reveal? Have you thought about making one?" Hyunjin asked curiously. You blinked. Actually, you never considered having a gender reveal party at all. But know, as it was brought up, you liked the idea.

"Oh please! I can help with decorating or organising" Jisung exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down in his seat. Seungmin just shook his head but couldn't contain the smile on his lips.

"I never thought about it but I like the idea." Jisung pumped his fist into the air as he cheered. "I'm going to do some snacks" Minho mumbled, already planning out some finger food in his head.

"And I'm going to make brownies and cookies!" Felix exclaimed.

"Thank you guys. I really appreciate it" the others cooed at you.

"No need to thank us. You are now a part of our weird and chaotic family" Chan grinned.

As the evening went on, you got to know the members more and more. Sure, they were chaotic but so kindhearted as well. Even though Minho acted cool and collected, you saw how much he wanted to make you comfortable.

And Seungmin mostly stayed by your side, even bringing you another water whenever your glass was empty. The way his fingers brushed yours created butterflies in your chest and a redness on your cheeks.

It was almost midnight when you let yourself be pulled up from the soft couch by Seungmin and decided that it was finally time to go home. Sanha had already called you in worry, asking if they had whisked you away and if she should come and get you. But you declined.

"You have such a great group of friends." You said as you sat in Seungmin's car, on the way back to you. "Yeah, they always help me. Over the years, they somehow became my second family. And I'm so glad that you got along with them" he laughed, focusing on the streets.

"How couldn't I? They were so kind. And I hope they like me"

"Oh, don't worry. They already liked you from what I've told them" he winked at you, stopping the car at the red traffic lights. That gave him enough time to look at you fully again, at your face that was shining with a tender smile that brought a warmth into his chest.

"Puh, I hope so. I like you all already" you giggled. "I like you too" Seungmin blurted out without thinking. "- I mean. We. We like you too" he stuttered, heart beating fast as he corrected himself, hoping that you didn't hear what he had said.

The blush on his cheeks was cute, you thought. But before you could answer anything, the car stopped in the parking lot of your apartment building.

"Come, I bring you upstairs" he suggested and held your door open like a gentleman. The short way to your apartment door was silent but before you could unlock your front door, he stopped you, his fingers closing gently around your wrist.

"Y/n. I-" he stilled again, forming the words properly in his thoughts. "What I wanted to say was thank you. I'm thankful that you are doing this with me, even if we wanted to or not. You will be such a great mother and I'm so glad that the little bean is going to have you as their mother"

You stilled in your tracks, not having expected such a statement from him. But nonetheless, it made your heart jump in your chest.

"Thank you. You are going to be a good father too. I'm lucky that you support me like this" you gave him a gently smile and could see how his own gaze shot to your lips for a moment. And then another. It was like a strange force was pulling him to you, like a bee was pulled to the sweet scent of a flower. Your own eyes watched how he licked over his lips with his tongue and then, how his adam's apple bobbed up and down.

His face was only inches away and you unconsciously puckered your lips. Before he could finally overcome the small distance that separated you, your phone rang loud and sharp, causing you both to flinch away. The magic was broken and you sighed as you answered Sanha.

"Where the hell are you? You texted that you were about to be here in about 15 minutes!" Your best friend exclaimed, huffing out air.

"I'm right in front of my door. Just give me a minute" with that, you dropped your phone again, returning to the awkward silence between you and Seungmin.

He cleared his throat and scratched his head awkwardly. "I should probably get going" he mumbled, already turning around to head back to his car.

"Seungmin wait!" You called, causing him to stop in his tracks. "You know that you called our baby 'little bean', right?" Grinning, you wiggled with your eyebrows in a mocking manner.

Seungmin snorted, shaking his head. "Come on. It was just one time!"

"I knew you would like that nickname more than puppy!" You giggled, teasing him.

He groaned playfully. "I like both of them, okay?" He defended, but a smile was decorating his lips.

"Of course you do" with that you shut the door behind you after saying goodnight. Immediately, Sanha stood in front of you, hands on her hips and that teasing smile on her lips.

"What did you do out there? Was that Seungmin's voice?" she desperately wanted to know.

You giggled at her excited face. "Yes, why?" She squealed, clapping her hands in anticipation. "Did you kiss? Did he kiss you" she grabbed your arms and came closer, jumping up and down.

You shook your head. "No. Why should he? We are friends, nothing more. Nothing less" she pouted sadly.

"Come on. You can't tell me that you don't find him attractive"

You sighed, slipping out of your shoes. "Well, I can't lie- he is attractive. But I'm just a woman he accidentally impregnated. He isn't going to catch feelings for me." You told her honestly, plopping down onto the sofa.

"Really? I have a different impression" she stated, yawning and cuddling up beside you.

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

author's note: Okay, I originally thought that this little series only has two parts. Turns out, I had so many ideas that I couldn't fit them into these two parts🙈

taglist:

@sammhisphere @staytinyarmy @cherrycat-h

[ashthesalamipiece]

"Explosive Delivery"

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Fem!Reader

Genre: Humor, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Intense labor, medical scenes, swearing, bodily humor, fluff overload

---

You’d faced villains, broken bones, and Katsuki Bakugo’s temper—but none of it compared to this.

Sweat clung to your body like a second skin as you gripped the hospital bed's side rail, your back arching as another wave of pain tore through you like an explosion in your spine. You were screaming, not because you wanted to, but because your body refused not to.

"She's at ten!" the nurse shouted. "It’s go time!"

"You hear that, babe?" Bakugo said hoarsely, grabbing your hand. His other hand hovered mid-air, unsure whether to touch your hair or just scream into the void. His usual confidence was gone, replaced by frantic energy. "Shit, you’re almost there. You're so damn strong, you got this!"

"Shut up!" you barked, face red and drenched in sweat. “I can’t—God, this hurts—!”

“I know! I know it hurts! You’re doing great!” he said, panicking like the room was on fire.

The doctor positioned himself at the foot of the bed, snapping on gloves. "Okay, Mama, one big push on the next contraction, alright?"

You nodded, trembling.

And then—

Another contraction hit.

You cried out, pushing with everything you had. But just as the effort peaked and your entire body tensed—

"Oh my god," you whimpered, eyes going wide. "I'm gonna shit myself."

Bakugo blinked. “What?”

You grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him close, growling through gritted teeth. “If I shit on this table, I swear to god—”

One of the nurses snorted. Another one let out a barely-contained giggle. Even the doctor’s eyes crinkled behind his mask.

“You're seriously worried about that right now?!” Bakugo shouted, red-faced and exasperated.

"YES!" you roared. "I will not be known as the girl who crapped herself in front of half the NICU!"

A short laugh escaped one of the nurses, and soon, the staff were trying really hard to keep it together. But you weren’t done.

"Just promise me!" you shouted. "Promise me if it happens, you’ll tell everyone it didn’t! LIE FOR ME, KATSUKI!"

“I’ll lie through my goddamn teeth!” he cried, grabbing your hand like it was a lifeline. “I’ll tell 'em the kid came out clean and shiny like a fuckin' diamond!”

You could feel him shaking beside you, heart in his throat—but his eyes never left yours. He looked terrified and awestruck all at once.

"Okay, push!" the doctor called again.

You bore down with every fiber of your being, scream warping into a cry as your whole body tightened like a pulled muscle.

You didn’t know if you shit yourself. Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. Honestly, at that point, you didn’t care. You felt like you were being torn in half and stitched back together with fire.

And then—

A wet, slippery cry pierced the air.

Time stopped.

Your body collapsed against the pillows, limp and breathless, as you blinked through the haze of pain and sweat.

“Congratulations!” someone said. “It’s a boy!”

Bakugo’s eyes flooded instantly. “Holy—he’s... he’s got your nose,” he whispered, barely able to form words.

They placed your son on your chest, and everything else faded. The sweat, the shaking, the screaming, the potential bowel disaster—all of it melted away under the weight of that tiny, perfect being now wailing against your skin.

"You did it," Bakugo breathed. "You’re fuckin' incredible."

You looked at him with a delirious, dazed grin. “Did I poop?”

One of the nurses turned away, snorting into her elbow.

Bakugo pressed his forehead against yours, still laughing through the tears. “Doesn’t matter. You're a damn champion.”

“But did I?” you asked again, more insistent.

He kissed you, his smile warm, voice cracking.

“Nope. Not a thing. Kid came out sparkling.”

You knew he was lying.

You loved him for it.

---

A Few Hours Later

You were half asleep in the hospital bed, baby swaddled in your arms, when Bakugo returned from making calls to the rest of the team. You cracked an eye open.

“Tell anyone I shit myself?” you asked sleepily.

He sat beside you, eyes soft. “Told them you kicked labor’s ass like a pro hero. Told ‘em you didn’t flinch. Told ‘em the nurses said you were tougher than half the damn guys they’d seen.”

You smiled.

“Liar,” you whispered.

“Damn right,” he muttered, kissing your temple. “And I’ll lie forever, if it means you get to keep that pride.”

And in that hospital room, wrapped in exhaustion, love, and a baby blanket—your chaotic, messy, hilarious little family began.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

This honestly might be a downer or stupid, but I just got fired and I am having a really hard time. I just want to bury my head in Stan's chest and sob. I was wondering if you could write how the Stan and Ford might react to the reader being suddenly fired and maybe how they'd comfort them? I'm also really excited for the next chapter of your fic!

✧˚⋆ Stan & Ford supporting you when you need it most ⋆｡♡˚

oh sweetheart, im so sorry ur going through this, holy shit. just the moment i received this ask, i knew i had to write smth when ill get free time today, because i feel so sorry for you. i hope these two old men gave u even a tiny bit of comfort, please be kind to urself right now, youre gonna get through this, i promise. sending u all my love !! stay strong please 🫂🫂

STANLEY

the thing about Stan is that he gets it. he gets the feeling of being chewed up and spat out, of having doors slam in your face, of working your ass off and still being told you’re not enough. he gets the quiet humiliation, the bitterness in the back of your throat, the way your hands shake when you try to act like it doesn’t matterm

you don’t even remember how you got here. your feet must’ve carried you through the streets, past strangers whose lives weren’t just ruined, past cars honking, past buildings that still stood while the whole world inside you had collapsed.

“hey, hey. what the hell, sweetheart, breathe, alright? you’re okay, you’re right here.” his rough but worried voice reaches you when you slam mystery shack's door open, standing in the doorway with shaking hands, red-eyed.

“i got fired, Stan. j-just gone, outta nowhere. i don’t know what to do, Stan, im so lost.” your throat burns

before you can say anything else, he's opening his arms. “c'mere.” and you don't even hesitate as you crash into him like a wave, burying your face in his chest. and he holds you, one big arm wrapping around your back, the other hand coming up to cradle the back of your head

“there we go. you don’t gotta keep it all in, sweetheart.” the words hit you harder than you expect. you're so used to holding it together, to swallowing everything down, to being strong. and Stan, who’s built himself up from nothing, who’s taken every punch life threw at him and still kept standing, he’s telling you it’s okay to break.

so you do. you bury your face in his chest and cry until you’re dizzy, until your breath stutters and shakes, until all the anger and hurt and fear bleed out of you. Stanley doesn’t rush you or tell you to stop. “let it out, sweetie, s’gonna be okay.” he holds you close tightly because he’s spent his whole life holding people who needed it more than he did.

“it’s not fair,” you gasp, clutching on his clothes.

“no, it ain’t.”

“i worked so hard.”

“i know.”

“i feel like—like nothing i do is enough—”

Stan tightens his hold, pressing his chin to the top of your head. “hey. you listen to me.” his voice turns serious. “some suit in an office makin’ a crap decision got nothing to do with who you are. they're dumb. absolute morons for lettin’ you go. betcha the whole place is gonna fall apart without you because you were the best thing about that shithole. if they couldn’t see that, then screw ‘em. they lost you. not the other way around.”

you shake your head, clenching your fists. “but—“

“no buts,” he growls and then, softer: “you're not trash just ‘cause some idiots don’t know how to treat their workers. you're not worthless just ‘cause some suits decided you were expendable. you are not nothing.”

Stan pulls back to tip your chin up, making sure you’re listening. his thumb wipes a tear off your cheek. “i mean, you still got me, sweetheart. ain’t no job in the world that could change that.” he smiles genuinely at you.

you close your eyes, giving him a tiny sad smile back. you let yourself breathe, let yourself believe it, hiding your face in his chest again. Stan's grip stays strong and unshaking, shielding you from the whole world as you cry until you’re too tired, so all what you do is sob into his chest. you’re just leaning into him, exhausted, letting him hold you up.

Stan sighs, resting his cheek against your hair. “ya ever heard the story of the biggest screw-up in New Jersey?”

you sniffle. “what?”

”lemme tell ya, kid grows up in a house that don’t want him. gets kicked out. loses every job he ever had. ends up in a broken-down shack in the middle of nowhere. total loser.”

you shift against him. “Stan—“

“but he keeps goin’. and somehow, somehow, that dumbass loser ends up with people who love him. ends up holdin’ someone who needs it. ends up tellin’ the best damn person he’s ever met that they’re gonna be okay.”

he lets you lean into him again, lets you breathe him in, lets you stay as long as you need. tells you stories about all the bosses he’s scammed just to make you laugh.

at some point, when the tears have slowed and the weight in your chest isn’t crushing anymore, Stan ruffles your hair and leans back, arms crossed.

“y’know, i could use an extra set of hands around the shack.“

you blink up at him, sniffing. “what? you. . .you want me to work here?”

“yeah, id rather have someone i actually like workin’ here instead of hiring some random kid who’s just gonna rob me blind.” his usual gruff tone is back, but his gaze is what speaks louder, soft and certain, making it obvious that you belong here.

you open your mouth, but he cuts in, pointing a finger at you. “and before ya say some crap about not bein’ good enough or whatever, shut up. i’m the boss, i decide who’s good enough, and i say it’s you.”

you let out a shaky laugh, wiping your nose. “wow, such a heartfelt offer.”

he smirks. “hey, that’s as heartfelt as it gets, sweetheart. but seriously. think about it, okay? i got a spot for ya.” Stanley is not just offering a job for you, he’s offering a place, a place where you’re wanted, where you’re needed, where you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

you take a deep breath, feeling lighter for the first time all day. “yeah. yeah, i’ll think about it.”

“good,” Stan smiles and ruffles your hair again. “now, wanna eat somethin’? watch a dumb movie? beat me at cards? or you want me to egg their car?” about the last thing, he's joking, probably. but if you say yes, you know he’ll do it.

STANFORD

Ford finds you sitting at the kitchen table, arms crossed on the surface, face buried in them. you haven’t moved and spoken in a while, just sat there, motionless, like a puppet with the strings cut.

he clears his throat, stepping closer. “i, ah. noticed you didn’t come in for dinner.”

you don’t respond. his brows knit together, concern creasing his forehead. he takes the seat across from you, folding his hands on the table. “would you like to talk about it?”

for a moment, nothing. then, muffled: “i got fired.” slips from your mouth. so that's what happened. Ford doesn’t say oh. doesn’t say im sorry. doesn’t say what happened? he understands you because Ford Pines knows what it is to be discarded. he knows what it is to dedicate yourself to something, only to be told you are wrong. to be shoved out, unmoored, drifting in the space between who you thought you were and who they’ve decided you are now.

he knows what it is to look down at his hands and wonder if they are still meant to build something. after being betrayed.

he frowns thoughtfully. “that was. . . rather sudden, wasn’t it?”

you nod weakly. Ford exhales through his nose, gaze sharpening, analyzing. you. your sadness. the whole situation.

“it must feel unfair.“ he doesn’t just acknowledge the loss, but the injustice of it. and it makes your throat close up.

you lift your head slightly, looking at his face. “it- it is. i tried so hard. i put so much effort into that stupid job, and now it’s just—just gone.”

Ford hums. “tell me something.” he leans forward, putting elbows on the table. “do you think your value was in the work you did?”

you blink at him, but he doesn't even let you answer. “because if that were the case, then the moment you lost that job, you would have lost all worth as a person. but that’s not true, is it?” his voice is always so calm, full of absolute certainty.

you shake your head slowly, unsurely and Ford nods, satisfied. then, after a brief pause, he stands. “wait here” you don’t have the energy to question him. you just sit, staring blankly at the tabletop, until he returns a moment later with a notebook and pen.

he places them in front of you.

you glance up, confused. “what’s this for?”

Ford takes his seat again, tapping a finger against the cover. “do me a favor, darling. write down five things about yourself that have nothing to do with your job.”

your face looks tired and skeptical. you stare at the paper. “Ford, i—“

“anything,” he says softly, smiling at you. “everything. what you love. what you’re good at. what excites you, what makes you feel something. what matters to you.”

your fingers tighten around the pen. at first, you don’t know where to start. but Ford doesn’t rush you, just patiently sits beside you.

so you write. you write about the things that make you you. and at first, it feels stupid and awkward. it starts small, your favorite books, your favorite songs, the way you love thunderstorms, the way you always make extra coffee just in case someone else wants some.

but then it gets bigger. the things you’ve created. the things you’ve learned. the times you were kind when no one was looking. the people who love you, who see you. the way you keep going, even when it’s hard

Ford watches as you write, nodding approvingly at each entry.

“now tell me: did losing your job take any of that away?”

you stare at the words. the little pieces of yourself you hadn’t even thought about in the wake of everything. softly, you shake your head

Ford’s expression gentles. “then you’re still you. and you’re still worth just as much as you were yesterday. because no job, no institution, no single event defines you.” you swallow hard. Fords voice drops lower. “you are more than what you do, more than what you produce, more than what some company decides you’re worth. you are your thoughts. your curiosity. your kindness.” he gestures to the list. “you are all of this and nothing can take that from you.”

your breath wobbles. Ford’s gaze softens further. “come here, sweetheart.“ you hesitate but only for a second, then stand and he meets you halfway, arms wrapping around you. and Ford isn’t Stanley, isn’t someone used to giving big, open, thoughtless affection. but what he lacks in ease, he makes up for in intent.

because he means this. his big hand moves up and down your back slowly. “you’re not alone in this,” he murmurs into your hair. “we’ll figure something out. and until then. . . you are still extraordinary.“ his voice is so certain, and suddenly you don’t feel quite as lost.

“th-thank you” you bury your face in his sweater, hands gripping his sleeves

“and don’t let anyone ever tell you you aren’t smart or brave or worthy enough.”

you stay there a while. until Ford gives your shoulder one last squeeze and pulls back, adjusting his glasses. “now. i assume you haven’t eaten?”

you smile at him, shaking your head. “no, wasn't in the mood.“

“come, sweetheart, let’s fix that.”

[prettyflyshyguy]

eucalyptus tissues have once again saved me from the torment nexus (the yearly cold/flu that you inevitably will contract every winter) and despite being in and out of bed all day - i have to complete my civic duty so lets do this.

You know the drill. Live slug reaction under the cut.

EP7 lets give it up for EP7

Firstly -- jesus did they not take anytime to give Gura a new uniform because he's barely patched up, and covered in someone elses brain matter and this thumbnail pic looks like they're on the hopper getting ready to EXIT STAGE LEFT

not the ONE MONTH EARLIER timeskip you cant DO THIS TO ME

Ok but like. Bharadwaj did you have to admit infront of the entire group AT A FANCY RESTURAUNT that you and Pin Lee had a bit of a fumble like "Sorry for the discomfort I caused you" GIRL THE WHOLE ROOM CAN HEAR YOU GNILERSNGILAEGNBLIHB

--- wait I'm an idiot they're doing a group sharing thing arent they. They were literally chanting her name a minute ago. Jesus christ the flu's left me one impatient little shit hasnt it LMAOO

Anyway before I move on -- can we talk about how pretty Bharadwaj is in this scene wtfffff

Tiktok voice: WE LISTEN AND WE DON'T JUDGE

STOP THAT STOPPPPPPP I'M IN THIS PICTURE AND I DON'T LIKE IT AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH thank you mr dastmalchian for the performance of my life

Ratthi saying "Who is the next victim!" I'm crying its gonna be gurathin isnt it

THIS BACKGROUND CHARACTER I'M SOBBING

I could write a fucking essay on this scene regarding the class difference, the cultural differences and the undertones. But I have the fucking flu. You're all smart people you can psychically connect with me on this right.

OH. HOMEBOY WAS A SPY. WORKING FOR THE CORPORATION RIM.

GNURIEHGULEAHNURTSGHUIERGHJUIEHGNUERISG

that was a fucking bombshell revelation

Re; him being forced to take substances as a means for coercion and control. Look I'm not sorry this is just making me go bonkers he's just like my best girl O'Byrne for real you guys don't understand the accidental parallels between him and her are sending me into a fucking frenzy. I made her like in 2016 for a story and I swear I've never even heard of murderbot till this show came out I can't believe this holy shit holy fuck

This also adds SO MUCH MORE WEIGHT to how angrily he shut down LLB's suggestion at cracking open a medkit for stimulants (for fun). Initially I got the vibe that it was just a general "thats a stupid fucking idea we need those they're important" but now its like

Ah.

this show's going to make me fucking cry his performance is going to make me fucking cry

This was a very. Very good conversation between these two. I am once again in this picture and I don't like it. Maybe its the sickness, maybe it's because I've been self reflecting, but this hit me in a soft spot.

"My risk assessment module was a piece of crap" yeah yeah alright blame it on the fucking module ya dickhead go on then hahahahahahahahahahahaa idiot

GOD AS really just has an incredibly imposing figure combined with excellent camera work to make this thing look deeply unsettling. Great body acting. Great framing. I love a good freak 10/10

THE WAY EVERYONE INSTINCTIVELY JERKS BACK HOLY SHIT OF;IJEIRGHALIERHJA;EOGHJEOSJGH

YESSSSSSS YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD THE WRITERS GET IT. THEY REALLY GET IT. THEY REALLY REASLLY GET IT HAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"I'm asking you to please get in the hopper. Unless you feel like dying.

I-I mean from them. Not from me."

screaming crying throwing up this show is both so so so fucking funny and just hits such a particular itch I have in character dynamics and the monstrous I'm cackling. Every time it awkwardly stutters or fumbles its words when it realises it came across wrong for how it's trying to present itself I feel giddy ("you're not disturbing. Me." when it was trying to hide and now THIS)

"You should be afraid of me. Please don't be afraid of me." real shit I'm slurping this up like the chicken soup I made last night

this is just like when I watched Supernatural for the first time last year and it made me go insane and I doubled down on writing my own story after and now murderbot is fuelling me now you dont understanddddddddd I'm going to explode if I dont publish Virtual Ground in some capacity by the end of this year

I have to. This show makes me want to make my own damn story better and stronger and get this shit out there SO BAD

RATTHI I LOVE YOU BUT I'M STRUGGLING TO WATCH THIS SCENE THE 2ND HAND EMBARRASSMENT WILL KILL ME

"Cooool. Okay good talk."

SOBBING

"Aah thank you so much for the concern."

"I didn't indicate concern, I was stating a fact."

bitch I need them to get locked inside a room for 12 hours. I need them to have to undertake a duos mission forcibly. I need them to have to cooperate on a highly specialised task that they both are required to participate in and cannot do alone completely.

Do you understand it makes me physically ill

"Ungrateful." WELL WELL WELL IF IT ISNT THE ACTIONS OF MY OWN CONSEQUENCES IRHTGALUHGELGAEULRH

Love that this is just one humungous miscommunication error on full display on both human and construct sides. Both cannot quite understand how the other operates and at this fundamental base incompatibility it results in both struggling and tension constantly forming. Impeccable. Waiter can I have another serving please.

ALSO IT'S STUPID LITTLE GRUMPY WALK AWAY HAHAHA

Thank you Mensah voice of reason (and I'm crying at everyone consistently not pronouncing LBB's name right)

"I was one whole confused entity" UGH WHAT A GOOD LINE

once again I love how this show uses subtle chromatic aberration to show when MB's having a moment of mind palace imagination.

"Circle"

"Nope."

"Absolutely not."

NFGBUIERAUHGULIJEHGLIHBERSUTGHUISLRTHGLUSRHG

You guys didn't even *try* and explain to it what you're doing and why, you just assumed it'd understand!! You need to talk to it!! You need to tell it what this whole thing is! Just like Gurathin "I'm not very good at this game" you have to communicate it!!!!!!!!!!!!

oK i've just been absorbing the entire outside-the-hopper conversation and its good food your honor. No one is happy. Everyone's getting snappy. No one has a good plan. Everyones confused and upset. Uguialerhguhga

CRICKEY, WHAT A BEAUTY!!!

BLIMEY!!!!

Ok that took a shocking and unexpected turn

I'm not going to comment on this

YEP.

God.

PIN LEE I'M SOBBING I ALSO DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT THEM

THIS FUCKING FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO FUNNY

BHARADWAJ COMING IN WITH THE ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then they confiscated their clubs and my rock...

sorry that's a shockingly specific reference to a Dead Kennedy's track in which the frontman just tells a story. Anyway here's a relative timestamp to the quote.

ANYWAY. That's not the flu talking, I have a habit of just quoting that.

If I had a dollar for every time there was robot vore in this show I'd have two dollars. You know the rest.

once again I am looking respectfully at the robot gore on this show however

"We're going. You can come. If you want."

Loving the emphasis on the reality that MB has a choice. It's shitty and pissy about it and it sure does love to complain but it's chosen, thus far, to protect them. It's chosen multiple steps of the way to be helpful.

It's still not entirely clear to the prexaux crew that thats the case (bar Mensah. She gets it the most.) but I think they're starting to recognise it a little more. The focus, care and attention it gave when the worm showed up was the biggest indication.

But MB itself also deeply struggles to recognise the whys and the hows of how prexaux approach it and feel about it. Cause after all it's just one whole confused entity. Aren't we all.

Anyway. I'm still not satisfied in the Gurathin reveals. I need to know so much more. I'm so fucking hungry. This only furthers my theory that he was augmented against his will. It's thrown a jerry can onto the bonfire actually.

I swear to god it wont happen this season but if we get a season 2 (I know the books go different places hear me out) I NEED MB and Gurathin to go on a shitty little duo mission together where they're forced to hang out and cooperate on something IT'S LIKE LIFE SUPPORT TO ME.

IF THE SHOW WON'T WRITE IT, I WILL.

Anyway I love that, once again, everyone has problems, and half of them arise from communication breakdowns. And it feels like we're getting closer to a breakthrough of mutual understanding. Mensah does your back hurt from how much you're carrying right now.

Now this meme comes with inevitable 'parent' connotations -- put those aside for a sec because it's not about that it's about her being the one fucking thing thats keeping two very chaotic forces together (everyone else in presaux and MB) and stopping them from destroying themselves or each other

Anyway. My whole body aches. I feel so fucking ill. I'm worried I've said something really stupid or nonsensical or a bad take here -- flu brain's got me paranoid.

I love you Gurathin you make me want to write my own story so much more and I swear to god I'm gonna make this a thing. I hope I can make Virtual Ground a mere fraction of how enjoyable this show's been to experience.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (7.5) (m.)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: exes au, fluff, Angst, smut; THE REASON™️, crying because obviously there's gonna be crying, mentions of hobi leaving :(, cursing, uhm she hits him; kissing (well, of course 😂), br*ast play, t*tty s*cking, oral s*x (f. receiving), f*ngering, unprotected s*x, r*ding, cr*ampie, uhm idk i think that's it word count: 6.9k (poetic, i know) note (1): holy fucking shit i am literally shaking like a chihuahua as i'm writing this a/n. what the hell it's finally here. we've been waiting for this for almost a year and a half. TREMENDOUS thanks to Jo @daechwitatamic, Ari @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao), and Jazz @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this for me and for reassuring me that it's not a load of crap (probably) and especially Jo for telling me if i back out she'll come kick me. frick! gaaaah. okay i'm gonna let you read or i'll go out of my mind

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I want you to smile, to feel like enough 'Cause you deserve yellow and lions and love I hope you come back when you're doing well Forgive me for being the worst of myself

New Recording 28 - Chelsea Cutler

The second the door is closed, his mouth is on yours again. 

His hand on your waist, yours in his hair, it’s similar to how it was mere minutes ago, just the urgency has increased tenfold. You want his suit off as much as you want your dress on the floor.

Jungkook detaches from your lips to let you breathe as he cages you between his body and the door, but it’s not like you can focus very well on breathing when he starts kissing down your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. His hands travel south, one palm curving around your hips to grope your ass, the other settling on the back of your thigh to lift it up, opening your legs wider so he could better slot in between them. With your leg lifted, it makes the slit in your dress ride up, exposing your core to the cool air of the room. You can feel his growing bulge pressed against you, right over your panties. 

You whimper his name when he sucks on the sweet spot on your neck, his hips grinding against you slowly.

“Yeah?” You can hear the smirk in that one simple word and the honey that drips from his voice. “What is it?”

“Want you…”

“I’m right here,” Jungkook says. His slender fingers rub you over the pink lace that you’re wearing underneath your dress, teasing your opening through the fabric for a few beats before he pushes your panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

His breath is hot on your neck. He presses his lips against your skin absentmindedly, the tip of his index circling you but not pushing inside just yet.

“Tell me you want me too,” you pant, your arm hooking around his neck to hold him close.

“I want you.”

Truth.

You pull him in for another bruising kiss before you blindly push him further into the room, your hands roaming the broad expanse of his clothed chest. He stops when the back of his knees hit the bed.

“Hey.” Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to look at you. “Are you sure?”

If Jimin knew what you’re doing right now, he’d say that you have zero self preservation instincts.

He’d be right, though. If you had any self preservation instincts, you wouldn’t be doing this.

Your stupid, battered heart has only ever wanted him.

“I’m sure,” comes your immediate reply. It’s desperate, but you don’t have it in yourself to even care. “I’m sure. I want this. Please.”

“You were drinking.”

“I’m not drunk. I promise.”

Maybe it’d be better if you were drunk. Then you could at least blame this lapse of judgment on a pathetic state of inebriation and not on your stupid self who’s always weak for him.

He stares at you for a minute, searching for any sign of your willingness being driven by alcohol. He seems relieved when he finds none, and it isn’t until then that he shrugs off his jacket, before helping you take off his dress shirt and trousers.

You haven’t seen him like this in so long.

Every defined line on his body, accentuating every detail that you could spend hours running your fingers over.

He looks different but at the same time, not really. A tad more muscular, but still the same lean frame. Hard chest and abs on full display for you. God, your fingers are fucking twitching with the need to touch him.

Once he’s been stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you before you stop him with a hand on his chest. The lone tiger lily on his arm catches your attention.

Your fingers reach out to trace the black ink on his body, the lines delicate, your touch feather light. You’re suddenly curious. When did he get it? You can’t remember if you two ever talked about getting tattoos.

“What does it mean?” you ask. It strikes you with the realization that this is just one of the thousands of things that you missed, a reminder of your lost time. 

“Please love me,” he says, bringing his hands up to cup your face. He looks at you, just for a few seconds, before clarifying, “It means ‘Please love me,’” then kissing you again.

Jungkook clumsily and blindly searches for the dress’ zipper on your back, giving it a few impatient tugs until it finally starts gliding down your body. Your lips never part from one another as the dress falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. But once you step out of it, he does pull back to look at you from head to toe. His eyes fall to your chest, clad in a lacy pink bra that matches your panties. The look he gives you is the same one that he did when he saw you in your dress earlier today. But there’s something else in his eyes - realization, pride, perhaps a question too.

His hands are back on your body instantly, throwing you onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator. He discards your bra with ease, flinging it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You shiver when the chilly air meets your bare chest, but the sensation quickly goes away when he takes your breast into his warm mouth. You let out a delighted sigh, arching your back to push yourself further into him as his tongue flicks over your stiff nipple. One of his hands comes up to squeeze your other breast to make sure that it isn’t neglected, rolling your pebbled bud between his thumb and forefinger. He switches to sucking your other tit after a while, then pawing at the one he just had in his mouth.

“Jungkook,” you whine his name when he makes out with your tits for too long, because there’s somewhere else that desperately requires his immediate attention. “Need you…”

He releases your nipple with a wet pop, and he looks pleased with himself when he sees that they’re thoroughly glistening with his spit. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He starts making his way down your body, kissing every inch of your skin that’s on display for him, before you put a hand on his shoulder when his face gets close to your thighs.

“What are you doing?”

He looks up at you as his fingers ghost over the fabric of your panties. “Can I?”

You lick your lips, contemplating whether or not you have the patience to wait for him. But alas, you decide, “Okay.”

Jungkook makes quick work of sliding your underwear down your legs and letting it join the pile on the floor. Even in the dim light, he can see just how wet you are, practically glittering with arousal, looking so utterly inviting that it makes his mouth water. All of this, just for him.

He doesn’t waste another second, diving right into you to lick a stripe up your dripping folds. Swiftly burying two fingers into your heat, he doesn’t stop until he’s knuckles deep. Your lips part in a silent but delighted moan. You forgot how good he used to make you feel. Your fingers could never feel as good as his, not thick enough to stretch yourself open and not long enough to reach deep inside of you.

“Fuck,” you drawl, your eyes fluttering shut when the tip of his tongue meets your throbbing clit, teasing it until you’re practically grinding against his face. You thread a hand into his hair, gripping his dark locks until he’s groaning, sending blissful vibrations all throughout your body. The figure 8’s that his tongue draws on your clit sets you alight, sends you into a whole other dimension completely as pleasure courses through your veins. 

“So good,” he mumbles. To you? To himself? You can’t tell, but that doesn’t really matter. “Still so good.”

You hear it, just how soaked you are, as he begins thrusting his digits in and out of you. He strokes your walls delicately with each press of his fingers, scissoring you open for what you know is to come. 

His tongue dips into your entrance then, teases your dripping hole as you pant heavily, 

Your legs close in on his head as the orgasm nears, but he keeps your thighs apart, firmly holding them open as he makes you unravel.

This is fucking unreal - Jungkook with his whole face tucked between your legs, desperate to make you come with his talented mouth. You never would have anticipated this when you woke up this morning.

No, just a while ago you were crying by yourself down at the beach. Now you’re crying out his name as he smothers himself in you.

Once he starts curling them inside of you, it’s embarrassing how fast you come. You clench hard around his fingers as the orgasm washes over you, dripping down his fingers and he uses the added wetness to carry you through the high.

“Jungkook…” you whimper, sounding completely fucked out even though it’s only just beginning. After a while, the heightened pleasure fades into the background, and he presses soft kisses against your inner thigh.

He crawls his way up your body until he’s facing you again. You watch his fingers and the way they’re coated in your juices, wondering what he’ll do with them next. Jungkook languidly smears the wetness all over your lips like he’s carefully painting them, only to kiss you afterward. When you moan against him, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hand finds its way into his boxers then, wrapping your fingers around his hardened length, pumping him in your fist until he’s shallowly rutting against you.

The kiss gets broken when he suddenly pulls away, realization dawning on him. “Shit,” he exclaims. “I don’t have a condom.”

“Oh.” You blink at him, then you both just look at each other for a while. This isn’t a problem with no solution, even if the solution is a disastrous one in hindsight. You just want him, so badly that you can’t think of anything else.

He waits for you, doesn’t dare say anything else until you do.

Yet again, the opportunity presents itself for you to stop.

But you’ve already gone this far, and though it’s damn near impossible, you want him even more than you did before.

“Are you clean?” you ask.

It’s evident that he’s surprised by the way his eyes widen, and his silence that follows for the next half a minute. “Yeah,” he tells you.

“Okay. Then we don’t need a condom.”

He says your name once, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face sweetly. You always did like your name best when it used to fall from his lips so softly. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure. I promise.”

Jungkook sucks in a breath, like he’s steadying himself, before he rids himself of the remaining piece of clothing on his body, then settles between your legs again. This time, his cock rests directly on your bare pussy. The anticipation makes it harder for you to breathe, makes you squeeze your thighs around his waist to not let him leave.

“How long has it been?”

Your answer is vague. “Too long,” you say. You don’t want to tell him that there’s been no one else since him, but you have a feeling that he understands it anyway. You think that he’d be pleased with your answer, that maybe it would boost his ego in a way, but there’s only a certain sadness that settles in his eyes. 

“Okay.” Regardless, he pushes past the sudden gloom that befalls his features, blinking away the disheartenment swimming in his irises, to align himself with your entrance. He rubs his cock against your pussy to coat you in his precum, even though you yourself are certainly more than wet enough for him to slide home easily. “Ready?”

“Yes,” you confirm, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he eases the tip into you, making the both of you moan at the contact. You feel him, all of him.

For a second, you wonder if he has ever forgone protection with anyone else, or if it’s only ever been just you.

Jungkook takes one of your hands off his shoulder to lay it flat on the bed next to your head, lacing your fingers together, giving your hand a slight squeeze. “Breathe. You can do it.”

“Give me a minute.”

“We’ve got time,” he says, his voice smooth like velvet.

“Can you kiss me?” you ask, almost like you’re shy even though he’s balls deep inside of you.

He chuckles lightly, so endeared by you and your silly question.

His lips meet yours sweetly, like doing so would help make the stretch less painful. Maybe it does, at least a little bit. 

You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and he’s probably trying so hard to hold back, but he keeps kissing you nonetheless.

“You can move,” you say after a while.

“I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

He rears his hips back, slowly, then thrusts forward again. You whimper from the slight burn, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. His movements are gentle for the next couple of minutes or so, and it isn’t until you start opening up more that he sets a steadier pace. Even when he starts to fuck you faster, one of his hands is still on your hips, rubbing your skin soothingly. 

“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts out, followed by a sigh of your name as he pumps into your cunt, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously in and out of your walls. “You feel so good.”

He gazes down at you as he moves, and there’s just something so intimate about it that it makes you want to cry again.

You know what it’s like to have him fuck you, and this isn’t it.

No, this is something else entirely.

I love you, you think. I love you so fucking much.

“Missed you.” His words come out hushed, caught in half a moan, half a whimper. “Missed you so fucking much.”

“Did you think about me?”

“Always,” he says, without even missing a beat.

“No,” you clarify. “When you were sleeping with other people, did you think about me?”

“I only thought about you.” His hips stutter as he tells you this, like he’s confessing to something that he shouldn’t. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

You never admitted this to anyone, not even Taehyung even though he probably sensed it, but you used to feel like you could be physically sick just looking at the photos on his feed every time you’d lurk on a drunken night. They were never flashy, just subtle enough for you to know that there was someone. It made you nauseous, because the place next to him was always supposed to be yours.

You just stare at him, not knowing how to process this bit of information. Sure, it’s an ego boost. There’s some pride in knowing that you were the one on his mind even if you weren’t together.

He’s so utterly gorgeous like this that you can’t form a single coherent thought, too lost in the way his eyes bore into yours and in the blossoming warmth that spreads all over your chest from hearing his words.

How did he manage to get even more beautiful? Sculpted by the gods. The standard for all men.

“What is it?” he asks when you stare at him for too long.

“I…” You blink away the daze. “I wanna be on top.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook slips out of you just long enough to get seated with his back against the headboard and pull you into his lap. You hover over him, letting his tip rub against your dripping hole for a moment before you sink onto him. You tip your head back and sigh as you envelope him fully again, the only difference is that you can feel him so much deeper like this.

He grabs your ass with both hands, kneading your skin as he helps you ride him. The sounds that you make together are downright obscene, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears.

“Harder,” you tell him shakily. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I want it to hurt,” you say, holding onto him like you’re bracing for impact, because you know he’ll give you what you want. “Make it hurt.”

Jungkook sighs once, then digs his heels into the mattress to steady himself before his hips go wild, thrusting into you with such force that it nearly has you sobbing, your head falling onto his shoulder. It makes you burn with pleasure, like a star before it becomes a supernova. When the tension starts building quickly, you can’t help but slam your hips down harder to meet his thrusts, to chase that high.

You press your lips against his skin, any spot you could find - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.”

The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, like he’s been waiting for an opportunity to say it. He doesn’t miss a single beat as he tells you, “I love you.”

“Mean it.”

“I do mean it. I love you.”

Truth.

For some sick and twisted reason, his words send you crashing over the edge, falling into that abyss of pleasure that you’ve been searching for. You say his name, over and over again, like you’re making up for all the years that he wasn’t around to hear it.

Your walls convulse wildly around him as you cry out, your toes curling, your thighs shaking. He holds you close, thrusting into you through your orgasm until you’re dizzy, like you could actually pass out from the overwhelming bliss.

“I’m close,” he tells you in a raspy voice.

You catch your breath long enough to say, “Come for me.”

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you say without much thought. If you were in a clearer state of mind, you would know that it’s reckless and stupid. You’re not on birth control, and if anything were to happen, you would have no one to blame but yourself.

But you aren’t in a clear state of mind, and maybe this is even more dangerous than if you were fueled by alcohol. At least you can sober up from alcohol.

You just want him so badly that rationality seems like a luxury you can’t afford right now.

“Y/N,” he whispers shakily, though there’s a warning edge to his voice that you understand.

“I want you to come inside me. I want it. I want it so bad. Please.”

Jungkook groans at your answer. 

He doesn’t ask you to look at him, instead choosing to hide his face against your neck where you feel something wet glide down your skin as he grips your hips. It’s followed by a sniffle, and hands that hold onto you like you’re a lifeline. 

He’s crying, and that breaks your fucking heart.

You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to tilt his chin up to look at you, because it feels strange without his tender gaze on you, but you decide against it even though the tips of your fingers tingle with the need to do so. 

Your walls clench with purpose, squeezing around him, trying to help you get there. It’s not that long before you hear your name falling from his lips in a choked out moan, so needy and beautiful and makes you nostalgic. He empties himself inside of you, making you shudder from the sudden warmth that he paints along your walls.

You stay in the same position for a few more minutes until your chest is no longer heaving with exhaustion and euphoria. He gently pulls you off his lap to lay you down on the bed, pressing an apologetic kiss against your bare shoulder when you wince from the oversensitivity, from any kind of movement at all. 

When he moves to throw on his boxers and goes to stand up, you reach for him. “Where are you going?” You instantly feel pathetic for asking.

He pauses, then squeezes your hand as that sadness from before makes an appearance in his eyes again. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he tells you, his voice quiet.

The relief on your face must be visible. “Okay,” you say. Rationally, you know he probably wouldn’t fuck you and leave you the second the deed is done. But again, rationality is a luxury at the moment.

Jungkook returns a couple of minutes later with a warm cloth, and dabs it between your legs to clean you up. You grimace when he touches you there, evidently sore already from the activities you just engaged in.

“Sorry,” he’s quick to say, though it isn’t really his fault. Or maybe it is his fault. You’re not sure if that even matters.

When he’s done, he gets under the covers with you. “Come here,” he says, then shuffles your body closer to his until he’s holding you with his hands on your bare waist. He leans down to kiss you, and you let him. God, you feel like you’re fucking melting.

It’s different from the kiss down at the beach, and it’s different from the needy ones you shared in the past hour. It’s soft and slow and easy, like there’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.

Jungkook breaks away eventually, and rests his forehead against yours then. One of his hands on your waist slides up to your ribs, until his thumb could brush the underside of your breast. The touch is gentle, sweet, completely innocent.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. He means everything he tells you. “You’re perfect.”

You even blush, like you’re a stupid lovesick teenager. “Tell me,” you say.

“Anything.”

You reckon it’s self-indulgent at this point. You’re only asking to feel better about your place in his life, or rather, the place that used to be yours.

“Tell me you can’t live without me.”

He nudges his nose against yours. No hesitation. “I can’t live without you.”

Truth. You know it’s the truth.

Nonetheless… “Liar.” Your tone is soft. There’s no bite at all. You touch his face, trying to commit to memory every detail, how his soft skin feels under your touch as if it’s the last time you’ll ever get to see him like this. Maybe it is. You never got to have a last time with him, never got to know that it was ending before it already ended. You’re not thinking about the morning because you don’t want to, but the seed of anxiety is there in your belly. Your fingers trace his jawline as you say, “You lived without me. You were doing fine without me.”

His lips ghost over your cheek. “It wasn’t much of a life,” he says. “I couldn’t bear it without you.”

The thing is, you know that he’s being honest. And it should make you feel good that you affected him as much as he affected you.

But then… it keeps leading you back to that question. The question that you thought you could go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to. But for that to be possible, you needed him to stay gone, stay out of your world forever.

He shouldn’t be here, tangled up in the sheets with you and kissing you like his life depends on it. 

He shouldn’t tell you that he misses you, that he loves you. Shouldn’t tell you to please, love him too.

It’s contradictory, isn’t it? You needed to never see him again if you stood a chance of moving on with your life. You needed it and yet, all you wanted was to have him back by your side.

The tattoo catches your attention again. It feels like it’s laughing at you, mocking you.

You clench your teeth once, your eyes beginning to turn glassy. Jungkook sees it, and he’s quick to break up your train of thought. He presses his mouth to yours, shushing you with a deep kiss that makes your head spin, despite it all.

“Don’t think about it,” he mumbles against your lips, so desperate to get you to stop. As if he can sense where this could lead.

“How could I not? I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“You know me.” He holds onto your wrist, to keep your hand on his face before you can pull it away. “I’m still the same.”

“No, you’re not,” you say quietly, absentmindedly.

“Yes,” he insists. “Yes, I am.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe you do see the person you used to know. But you only ever see him in glimpses and it always leaves you with a terrible, nauseous feeling afterward.

He doesn’t understand how much it hurts you to catch glimpses of the boy you used to love - the boy you still love - only to realize that maybe that isn’t the person he wants to be anymore. It feels like he keeps trying to kill that version of himself, like he despises the person who meant the world to you.

Are you gone forever?

Come back quietly.

“How old are you?” you ask after a moment.

The question makes him pause, his soft features twisting in confusion. He leans back a bit, so his eyes could focus on your face better.

“What?”

“How old are you?” you repeat.

It takes him another while to answer as he tries to see where you’re going with this. But when his search comes up empty, he just answers, “29.”

"I don't know who you are at 29. The last time I knew you was 24. No. You hadn't even turned 24 yet. Where was 25? 26? 27? 28? It’s unfair that you still know who I am when I don't know who you are. I feel like I never aged a day past 24. You carried on living but I'm still here."

His eyes well up once again, but this time, you can see it. The first tear spills over, lands somewhere on your collarbone. This is what you used to want, right? To see him hurting, just like how you were hurting? Well, be careful what you wish for.

No part of you feels victorious that you’re making him cry, that the score is finally being settled, because none of this undoes all of the shit you had to go through. If anything, it makes you feel even worse, like you’re still losing.

“I never moved on from us. I couldn’t move on from you,” he says, voice cracking toward the end. Your heart is doing the same thing in your chest, but you’re glad that he can’t see it. “I swear I miss you every day. I wanted you with me every day. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you.”

Jungkook looks so dejected, like a reflection of you these past few years. You recognize that look in his eyes. You know that sadness all too well. He was in as much pain as you were.

He loved you when he left you. He still loves you even after all this time. 

You inhale shakily. For the first time, you feel infinitely selfish for only focusing on your own misery without even stopping to give him the benefit of the doubt, to consider the possibility that maybe letting you go wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe he isn’t the antagonist that you spent years making him out to be.

There’s more to it, and you need to know.

“Then why did you leave me?”

Graduation was just shy of a month ago, and two weeks before that was Hoseok’s flight when he left you all behind.

You and Jungkook, along with Taehyung and Jimin had gone to see him off at the airport. Of course you did, you were his best of friends after all. The goodbye was full of jokes accompanied by sniffles, and tears that overflowed without permission because you all agreed that you would hold yourself together for Hoseok. Jimin was probably the one who cried the most, even though inside, you were equally sad to see your friend leave.

A part of your life was ending, and that in and of itself was depressing enough already, but you thought at least the whole group would still be together and start the next chapter by each other’s side.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t the end of the world. All of you could still make it work, even if it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. You promised to keep in touch, promised to message the group chat every day and have video calls every weekend. You were still kids, and kids tend to be optimistic like that.

What none of you could see coming was how everything would fall apart in a matter of mere weeks.

Jungkook thinks that decades from now, when he’s old and gray and helpless, he still won’t be able to forget that day.

He should’ve been more concerned when your mother contacted him out of nowhere, asking him to meet with her, asking him not to let you know where he was going.

He’d shown up half an hour early to the cafe where they were supposed to meet, just because he didn’t want to risk being late and have your mother disapprove of him even more. Not once had she expressed anything other than disdain toward your relationship, but you’d always told him it didn’t matter, that you were the only person who could decide what to do with your life, not anyone else, let alone your mother. He always believed you back then, even if deep down, he still wanted her to see that he was enough for you. Her unattainable approval still mattered to him.

Jungkook spent thirty whole minutes running on nothing but anxiety and caffeine. That was probably his first mistake, ordering a cup of coffee which only made him more nervous than he already was.

When your mother arrived, it barely took her any time at all to get right into what she came here to say. She hadn’t even bothered with a drink.

Was that how it was always going to end? Should he have seen it coming from the beginning? Was he the only one who thought it would be you and him all the way until the very end?

Maybe he was more of a hopeless romantic than he thought.

It was the way she had called him a phase that she hoped you’d grow out of. That she had let you keep this relationship for long enough, but now that you’d graduated - now that you’d be starting a life for yourself - she couldn’t sit back and watch you throw it all away for a boy who could never give you what you deserved.

It was the way she told him she didn’t want history to repeat itself. How she didn’t want to subject you to the same fate that she and your father had to suffer through. How she had left your dad because in the end, he wasn’t enough for her and you, even though you were a child and you deserved to grow up with a father and with love.

She said the same thing would happen to you and Jungkook, because you were meant for greater things and he was not meant to deserve you. She made it clear that he would always hold you back, that he would never amount to even a fraction of what you should receive in life.

“If you love her, you would let her go.”

Cliché, right? Like the kind of stuff you only ever see in movies? Well, movies have to take inspiration from somewhere.

He thought about his own mother then, and about how people could have such different ways of showing love. He believed that your mother loved you, and he still believes that. She wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of seeing him if she didn’t care about you. She wanted the best for you, and that wasn’t him.

She didn’t have to tell him to keep it a secret from you, because he wouldn’t have told you regardless. He was well aware of how strained your relationship with your mother was, and letting you know would only drive it closer to the edge. She knew he wouldn’t tell you. He loved you, and that was the one thing that she could count on.

Just sitting there in that café, Jungkook felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, even though he was surrounded by the other patrons and their lively laughter as they chatted away. The pitiful way that your mother kept looking at him forced him to learn what it was like to feel truly worthless.

The pity in her eyes only intensified when he couldn’t even say a single word in response, couldn’t think of anything to defend himself.

Silence meant agreement, and that was what he chose. Jungkook - the naive boy that he was - stopped believing in you. He’d believed her instead.

He was just a kid, what else was he supposed to do? 

She was your own flesh and blood, and he knew nothing could ever replace that. He would rather let you hate him, resent him for the rest of your life, than let you lose your family.

That day, he lied to you for the first time ever, saying he couldn’t come over because he was tired. The sunflowers he bought for you just hours prior ended up dying on his windowsill.

He wouldn’t see you again for a few more days, then for months afterward.

July was supposed to represent a blossoming summer, but all he could remember was the dreadful promise of a winter that would inevitably come.

You call his name when he takes too long to answer. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” he merely says. His hand brushes your cheek.

You frown, despite the way the three words make your chest tingle.

“I love you,” he says it again, trying to ease the furrow between your brows.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m sorry.”

His voice is soft, barely even audible, but it’s this gentleness that makes his words ricochet, ringing in your ears loudly like a gun going off in the quiet of your room.

Again with the apologies.

Fuck this.

It’s hard to take it to heart when you don’t even know what he’s apologizing for.

You gave Jungkook the chance to explain himself, but if he doesn’t take it, then that’s not on you. There isn’t much else that you can do.

You swallow hard, then shove him off of you so you could get out of the bed. Your legs instantly tremble as you attempt to stand, but you soldier on as you put on your bra and underwear, then grab your dress from where it lays abandoned on the floor. You’re shaking, but it’s difficult to determine if it’s because you’re angry, or cold without his warmth nearby.

He’s quick to his feet too, rushing toward you before you could leave.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss when he reaches for your arm. He doesn’t listen, because when has Jeon Jungkook ever fucking listened?

“Y/N, wait-”

“Wait for what?! I asked you a simple question and you can’t even answer me.”

He runs a hand over his face frustratedly, clearly torn over something. He holds your angered gaze, but the way he looks at you is much milder, gentler even if it’s equally frustrated. “I’m trying to protect you.”

You don’t know if it’s the wrong answer or not. You just know that in this moment, it irritates you to no end.

“Oh my god,” you gasp mockingly. “Someone is trying to kill me.”

“What?”

“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is waiting outside that door right now, waiting for me to come out so they can kill me. Holy fucking shit, I’m about to be assassinated.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.”

There’s that burning sensation behind your eyes again. “And you think I’m not? What do you mean you’re trying to protect me? Protect me from what? Do you think this is a fucking k-drama? Jesus Christ,” you scoff harshly. “What do you want from me? What the actual fuck do you want?”

Jungkook aims for you again, and in an attempt to ward him off, your swinging fist inadvertently collides with his chest. The dress falls to the floor again, laying next to your feet, that useless piece of fabric.

It probably doesn’t do much damage to him, but he’s a bit startled regardless. So are you, if you’re being honest. But you do it again, and surprisingly, he lets you.

“You coward.” You shove hard at his chest, making him stumble backward. “You unbelievable asshole. You fucked me, you said you loved me, and you still can’t tell me why you left me.” 

He allows you to push him until his back is pressed against the wall. And even then, you don’t relent. Your fists continue beating against his chest as you start sobbing, spilling ‘I hate you’s in between so many expletives it could make his grandmother faint.

He might bruise in the morning.

You hope he bruises in the morning.

The least Jungkook could do is bruise for you.

You want him to curse him out for so many things - for loving you, for leaving you, for not even having the balls to tell you why he broke your heart. For coming back to remind you that you still love him. For proving that he still has you in the palm of his hands, and every twitch of his finger can make you feel like the walls are crumbling down on you.

But even as you tell him how much you hate him, you’re still thinking: Come back. I don’t want to keep losing you. Come back to me.

Because he’s the only person who can hurt you like this. When you think about him, it used to make you so depressed that you could hardly function. There’s no other way to put it to make it sound less pathetic. That’s just how it is.

You shouldn’t have agreed to this weekend, shouldn’t have been nice to him, shouldn’t have let him convince you not to think about it. You shouldn’t have opened the door for him in the first place, because there was always a part of you that knew he could get under your skin so easily just like that.

This wasn’t your second chance at holding onto him. It wasn’t a do-over. It was a re-enactment.

The years haven’t made you wiser, that much is clear.

You don’t know how long this goes on for, but at some point, you begin to wear yourself out. Your movements start to slow and the energy to violently sob leaves your body until you’re nearly collapsing. Jungkook catches you when you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up anymore. Why are you always so fucking helpless?

“You just…” Your voice gets caught at the end of a sob. This is rock bottom all over again. “You make me so sad.”

You grasp his arm weakly, feeling like your own lungs are failing you. You can’t breathe. It’s too much, too infinitely humiliating. He’s doing this to you again, and this time you have to shoulder most of the blame, because you are the one that enabled your own heartbreak for the second time.

You’re still crying, and you hate that this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry like this.

“I’m trying to protect you,” he says firmly, looking at you like he’s trying so hard not to break down alongside you. “Please, I’m so sorry.” The words come out as a whisper now. You can feel the tremble in his voice and the shake of his hands where they hold you. His big bambi eyes - the usual home of constellations - now house tears that threaten to spill onto his supple cheeks. “Please. What can I do to make you believe me?”

It’s those stupid fucking eyes. It’s your stupid fucking self.

“You need to tell me.” Your tears keep on falling no matter how much he tries to wipe them away. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“It’ll make things worse,” he tells you, his voice cracking as he does. He sounds like he means it, and maybe he does believe that whatever he’s hiding from you will only hurt you more. It almost has you caving, but you can’t do this a second time. You’re exhausted, both physically and emotionally. In the morning, you’ll think about how this is all so dramatic, the way you’re acting right now. The most k-drama-esque thing that has ever happened to you. But in the moment, you just feel like someone plunged a knife in your chest, and they keep twisting it, twisting and twisting,...

In the end, you decide that it’s a risk you’ll have to take, because nothing can be more painful than the absolute hell he’s putting you through. He’ll never understand how utterly excruciating it is to experience this kind of heartbreak.

“If you don’t tell me now, I won’t be able to survive you again.”

up next...

our beloved summer (08) ⏤ aka the JK centric chapter

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 30, 2023]

[smolvenger]

Hot for Teacher (Professor! Tom Hiddleston x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: After being private about your relationship, your professor boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, introduces you to his students.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Some thirsty comments and cursing, but no smut. Established relationship and lots of fluffy moments. Grammar and spelling mistakes that slipped past me. Reader not being a student and being an Adult Adult (tm). A big fancy ball because I decided not some hum drum party was gonna do. (I'm the writer, I can do what I want). I rip off YouTube comments and Ana Huang and stuff I see on Tiktok and Instagram.

A/N: For @holdmytesseract's request! I am sorry this took a while due to stuff happening, but here it is!!!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

You always visited the campus coffee shop on Mondays at 10 am to overhear students being thirsty for your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at their comments. They were leaving their English Literature Survey class. Only they weren’t discussing books.  

“Sooo nice of him to lower the word count for the essay, he knows it’s a lot.”

“Holy crap, did you see how tight his shirt was today? I could practically see his titties.”

“He needs to quote Shakespeare again. I think I’m developing a kink.”

“If I caught my girl in bed with Professor Hiddleston, I’d tuck him in.”

“If I was at the club and Professor Hiddleston was hitting on my girl, I’d start to cry…because he didn’t choose me.”

“I’m a hardcore lesbian, but Professor Hiddleston is on my cheat card.”

“I’m a hardcore asexual, but Professor Hiddleston is so hot that if I had to get pregnant I’d want him to do the honors.”

You sipped up your drink, sitting in a far corner. Smiling bright as you heard them. Stifling a laugh so hard you could feel your drink always threatened to snort out of your nose. You would cup your face, ensuring they didn’t take note of you. Even get out the notes app on your phone to type them down. Not that you’d ever show him. 

He was their hot Professor. But to you, he was just Tom.

Just Tom. A boyfriend who cared for you respected you, and listened to you. Who did the bare minimum and so much more. They didn’t know his flaws, living with each other's smells and body odors and functions and insecurities. And the little, beautiful moments that made you all the more in love with him. How you would both go to bookstores and geek out after certain works, make a mess in the kitchen trying a new recipe, or stay in your pajamas until 1 pm watching something on the TV. Did they know how loud he snored at night? Or how sensitive his neck was? Or that he was fidgety if he sat too long? 

Then one of them said “His girlfriend is one lucky ass bitch. I wonder what she’s like?”

“Oh…he hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend, do you think…he’s single?!” one asked.

They all shot up like meerkats with big smiles.

You froze, only staring quietly at your drink. 

Tom didn’t talk about you in class. Nothing. Nada. Goose eggs.  They didn't know you existed.

So far you were sure they were not little homewreckers- not successfully, at least. You trusted Tom and he trusted you and his students respected his boundaries. But he blocked them on social media so they wouldn’t dig anything about him. Tom was a private person and he wanted that to be respected by his students. 

When you both met to hang out and make dinner later that evening- his special Spaghetti bolognese recipe, he gave you a hug and kiss on your head.

“Oh, you missed a spot!” you teased.

His eyes crinkled beneath his glasses.

“Oh- uh,” he voiced out.

You dived in to kiss him on the lips, his beard scratching your chin.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Oh, just fine. Your students were…wondering about me today. I saw them at the shop.”

“They didn’t recognize you?”

“No- they don’t know what I look like. Or about me, period…we’ve kept it that way…”

Both of you got into the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves and preparing the pasta and sauce. It smelled of garlic, onion, and olive oil, making your stomach rumble. How easily smelling that in a kitchen could solve all of your problems!

He smiled at you. Then, as the pasta was set to boil in the pot, he turned to you. His sleeves rolled up (making you giddy inside) and his face was a little flushed from the heat of the steam from cooking.

“My angel, I don’t want to keep you in hiding- and you shouldn’t.”

“Tom, what do you mean?” you asked. You stirred the sauce, then tapped the spoon and set it on a jar for attempted cleanliness.

 I love you. And this is a part of my life…would you like to meet them? I promise you, they won’t hurt you. I won’t let them!” 

He went up to hug you from behind and you watched the simmering food.

You paused, taking in a breath. What were you afraid of? Were you ashamed of Tom or being with him? No, not a bit.

 You turned around to face him.

“They’re college kids. They’re basically puppies…I think I’d like to meet them.” you agreed

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

You both decided what event it should be that you would meet them. There were events called Bookish Balls that were all the rage now. It was a prom for adults. Proms where everyone dressed like fantasy characters and showed off costumes and even cosplays. It was everything from complex armor to a dress with some elf ears on. 

You knew he had a Shakespearean-era outfit from a play he did that he kept you just had to find the right look. It would be more exciting and less creepy then if you jumped on them at the mall like a pair of stalkers. 

And the ball looked like fun.

You and Tom both arrived. He was in his Shakespearean garb and crown. You had your own outfit- you adored it. You couldn’t help but look at each large mirror you walked by as you walked down the dim hallways with carpeted floors.

All the students were talking about it- tickets were 60 percent off for students. Since they were all raving about these hot new fantasy books between their required reading of Dickens. They all rattled their iced coffees like maracas and gossiped and shared pics of their outfits on their phones every day before class according to Tom. Most of them would all be there.

Little did they know their Professor was going to be there, as well as his girlfriend.

You both arrived at the fine, fancy hotel. Tom was dressed in his leather doublet and pants with a large cape and a grand crown. Ever the king. You had splurged on the fancy outfit you wanted badly- and you felt as if you were a heroine in a story as you walked through.

“You look stunning- they’re going to adore you,” Tom assured you.

You hoped so. If they met you and humiliated you in some way tonight or after, you would move to Antarctica and learn to speak penguin. 

Taking his arm and feeling like royalty, you both went down the fine large building. You saw people gathered. There were some stage lights and the large gala room had trees with flowers everywhere as well as thrones, little game booths photo booths, and a banquet. And, of course, a packed dance floor. A live band played. Many people wore crowns and wings and elf ears and were dancing away with zeal. Women twirled their ballgown skirts with smiles so big it lit them up. Many flicked their capes dramatically or wrapped around them like blankets. There were fairy lights and glitter everywhere and there were photo ops and even a costume contest. It was in full sway.

 Including a crowd that included Tom’s students. They jumped up in time to the song, breathlessly singing along to every word.

Tom held out your hand, both of you feeling like the king and queen looking over their jubilant subjects. You both walked down. Hoping your outfit looked as nice on you as you hoped it would.

The song was entering its last chorus. The student's backs were turned and their capes and wings were bouncing as they danced. They hadn’t noticed you yet.

He went to his group of students and cleared his throat. At once they turned their heads.

They looked at him and then you and their jaws dropped.

Tom said.“hello, here is  Y/N, my beautiful, amazing girlfriend.” He then leaned you in and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

All of their eyes bugged out of their skulls and jaws dropped like broken nutcrackers among them.

You were worried the girls in the group would glare at you like they were going to rip out your stomach intestines.

But instead, all of them collapsed into a collective “AAaaaaawwwwwww, hello!” and “What?! WHAT?!” Their eyes flitted toward Tom in tight leather (who wouldn’t?) and you in your presence. 

You went up like in any social situation. You gave them a smile- warm, genuine, polite, and friendly.

“Hi there, it’s nice to meet you- I heard all about you guys!”

You shook their hands. You got to meet them and learn names- Kelly, Hailey, Jessie, Emily, Daniel, Isaiah, Chase, Cameron, Kat, Miranda, Edgar, and so many more your head spun. But you eventually got it with practice.

But they let you dance with them. Be relaxed and have fun. It moved from a band to a playlist of all the classic dance songs. The band blasted Single Ladies and the girls invited you, dragging you in. You tried to copy the moves from the music video, but couldn’t quite and they all burst into laughter anyway.

It then slowed down- it was a ballad, the Cody Fry song about falling in love being like a symphony.

“Well…could I have a dance with my lady?” Tom asked, holding out his hand.

They gasped and looked at you.

“Oh, what a gentleman! I’d be delighted!” you said, accepting his hand.

They let you and Tom have a slow dance- how handsome he looked in the light, beaming at you. They smiled as if they were watching a rom-com at the end. There were no angry glares- at most, some looked a little reflective and sad. But none dared interrupt the moment with you and Tom.

Would they hate you after seeing the affection?

If so, they shut their mouths and minded their beeswax about it.

There were loads of pictures- you were willing to take some (they were seeing you as the surrogate Adult Adult more than their adults) and they included you in some, including some selfies.

Tom excused himself and returned with even brought you a little plate of food. a plate full of little sandwiches, cheeses, and fruits. You both rested your feet and shared some, feeling their eyes on you. For dessert, there were some gooey brownies that melted in your mouth. Tom eagerly grabbed some, his large hands packing as many brownies as he could. 

But you realized his beard had streaks of chocolate brownies on it, you burst into laughter and you heard some giggling from the students too.

“Oh, let me take care of that!” you offered.

You got out a handkerchief and wiped it off of him. You definitely heard “awwwws” in the distance. Looking at it, his beard was now clean.

“There you go! But dashing as always!” you said.

He held your hand and kissed it. The “AWWWWWS” got louder in the back and you both had to suppress your laughter.

Rejoining the students, you saw them less as little judges or would-be homewreckers. You got to talk to them. Maybe you judged them harshly- you remembered being in college when you were that young too. Of course, they grumbled about the coursework sometimes and you gave your own insight. 

“Oh- you’re seriously reading Persuasion? Oh, just wait! Austen takes some time to get used to when you read her stuff- read them slowly and you will catch onto what’s happening! The yearning in that one is beautiful” you encouraged a distraught Hailey. 

You even discussed what fantasy books they were into and got some more recommendations for your ever-growing TBR. And at the end, every last person in the crowd gathered and danced. You and Tom joined the students with big grins and aching feet, but you wouldn’t stop until that last song ended its phrase. No drama. No pettiness. And no hiding. No fear. Just people at a party. Young and happy and alive.

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

The other morning, you were back at the coffee shop. Waiting on them. Soon enough, they arrived in their band, though you remained in the corner. 

“I couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend!” Daniel gasped.

“Really?! I’m not! A man that fine can have his pick,” Kelly commented.

They began to all get iced coffees and gather around.

“She is gorgeous- didn’t you see her at that ball!? And she’s super nice!”

“Yeah…I want them to be happy and he seems so happy-”

“Oh, he is cheesing after her- you saw how he smiled?! And how he got the plate for her? Like, he’s a walking green flag!”

‘She’s so lucky!

“Listen, I am glad they’re happy…I just wish it were me…”

They all sighed and agreed,. You waited for that whole vibe of that phrase to blow away.

Then, quietly you walked over.

“Hello everyone,” you said.

They gasped and turned heads.

“YN! YN, hi!” one boy, what was his name- oh yes, Cameron!-said.

“Oh, I just wanted to pop by,” you added.

Then, Emily stood up. She got out a chair from one table and moved it over to where everyone sat .

“Do you have anywhere to be? You can…you can join us! You’re welcome to!”

You smiled at them and took a seat.

[uneatenclient]

murderbot tv show ep 5 reactions/spoilers under cut. i fucking love mb

oh? flashback?

goddddd it said "i'm sorry" before shooting itself last time i'm still soooo

'this thing is heavy' 'IT'S NOT A THING IT'S A PERSON' 'yes i know' ratthi 🤝 arada being firm on mb's personhood even under pressure

omg they're all so worried LITERALLY ALL OF THEM ARE ON THE VERGE OF CRYING

THERE'S TOO PURE ARADA FOR MY BINGO BOARD

holy fucking shit arada lmfao

but ugh. UGH. i don't want her here. the dynamic!! give it back!!

maybe i'll be lucky and it'll show how close they are by comparison? plz

omfg 'not unless you're stupid enough to do the thing you're doing right now. [biggest sigh] idiots'

we're one step closer to 'my idiots' and i cannot fucking wait

uh. guys. maybe. dont?

WHAT

bharadwaj???

not pin-lee and gurathin??? WHY THO

oh jeez

this is such pure corporate indoctrination. presaux just looking at each other like uhhhhhh

i should count how many times mb calls its humans stupid in this ep i think its 3 so far let me look

—

'despite my best efforts'

i'm reacting all over again every time i watch the eps i find something new and great

'fix me? why'd i even bother to shoot myself?'

oh that shot was fucking gross how did i miss that before

GOD THAT ACTRESS DID SOMETHING W ARADA'S VOICE THERE AND IT'S SO FUNNY AND REAL AT THE SAME TIME

yep stupid and then idiots ok 2 so far hello again intro

there's 3

"yeah that was preeetty heroic" i fucking love you mb have i said that recently

oh dear

TERRIBLE SHOW

how does no one know they have faces

HOW IS SHE SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE TEAM SAYING IT HAD A NICE FACE GET ME OUT OF HEEEREEE

also what adult says pee-pee

the fucking expressions on everyone's faces

WHAT

RATTHI

RATTHI OH MY FUCKING GOD

YOU SIGNED THIS THING TODAY?? YESTERDAY???

'okay this part was actually kind of entertaining' it fucking hates relationship drama AND gratitude but humans embarassing themselves? funny

ratthi's fucking forehead bruise

'this secunit it our friend' 'eh. debatable'

oh my god. ratthi with one banger after another this ep lmfaooo

MB PLEASE

i should count the sarcastic bitching as calling them stupid tbh we'd be up to 6 or 7

'oh n— hes gonna do it? he looks way too into this' botfucker confirmed?? ignore me

'nice'

'looking at their hopeful faces, i was glad i didnt murder them' camera/eyes shoot to lbb 'mostly

plz pin gurathing to the wall plz pin gura

ITS CRUCIAL TO MY ENJOYMENT OF THE STORY

the clearing of throat fucking hell

'uh oh' 'UH OH'

PLZ PIN GURATHIN

she agrees with me completely

BHARADWAJ AFTER ALL I DID FOR YOU

'i don't agree with gurathin' 'HA!' help meeee

gurathin's fucking face

SO UNFAIR

SECCY

FUICKING HELP ME

oh?

oh? the scene?

PLEASE

'i don't watch that crap' [deathglare]

OH MY GOD THEY EXPANDED ON IT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

the scene PLEASE PLEASE

holy fuck

holy fuck that was so fast??

THANK YOU FOR MAKING MB THE BADASS IT SHOULD BE

FUCK I KNEW I COULD TRUST MARTHA WELLS

did it fucking have its energy weapon ready to shoot him?? was that why the thing on its arm glowed yellow???

dude. 'i don't know what i would've done if she hadn't kept it calm' much? you would've fried his fucking brain?? badass tbh you deserve a crash out after living like this so long

sad it didn't add the 'but the others like you, and i like them' bit but i'll get over it

it has to admit it eventually

so completely avoiding eye contact

gurathin is so fed up. this is bringing back so much cr bullshit i can feel it. i bet everyone in the room could feel it. i absolutely get it godddd poor dude

that's the gurathin character arc i want not the fucking. mensah obsession. ugh

he fucking calls her mensah when he's mad but ayda when he's worried

god. mensah saying all that is WAY harder to believe seeing it than it was reading/listening to it. probably because everyone is much less well-behaved in the show

GET EM MB

yeah i fucking bet she was

IT'S EXPRESSING ITS WANTS SO FAST. FUCK YEAH YOU GO MB

gurathin and mb are such two sides of the same coin

you question her so much gura. the same way mb does tbh but it does it internally

oh no

oh no oh no

stop

don't make me watch this

stoppp

at least she's trying?????

LMFAO

NO OH GOD

IT'S FUCKING FACE

NEVER BEEN MORE SCANDALIZED OR HORRIFIED IN ITS EXISTENCE

HORRILIZED

the performance reliability tanking i'm fjkahdjsjdj

'first among the equals' is fascinating

awwww

OH COME ON

absolutely did that on purpose it was so insistent lmfao

the pout and crossed arms

they're so fyucking similar what am i gonna dooo

stop no

don't be weird

ohhhh he's mean he probably likes her less than secunit at this point

i do love him if i ignore the elephant we haven't come back to anyway

omg she's making it deal with family stories and oh nooo she couldn't possibly have a favorite

oh my fuck

'cuz most humans are greedy bastards' THIS BITCH IN ITS REBELLIOUS TEENAGE PHASE ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER IT WANTS NOW

I'M FUCKING IN LOVE

AND ALSO IT'S RIGHT

aww. baby's first conversation

gosh. gosh.

interesting. foreshadowing the other beacon drama. if this doesn't turn out worse somehow

.........oh

fucking. OKAY THEN

WHAT THE SHIT

sometimes it feels like they're fucking around with the order of things but it's just that they added in so much kinda similar stuff it's like getting slapped in the face

IN A GOOD WAY

BC WAHT THE FUCK WAS THAT

i hope mensah gets it to talk about gurathin i wanna know what she'd sayyyyy

and my bingo with 1 new star

[tssdresses]

Okay hi everyone for those unaware @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors just posted their Prom fic, so I'm gonna scream about it in the readmore as I read it. spoiler warning below.

[keyboard smash] Kai and Lauren are just. the cutest.

I don't know anything about olive oil as conditioner but when I was bleaching and dying my hair frequently I used coconut oil as a hair mask prior to washing and that was awesome.

where are the dresses violet i want the dresses

Lauren is amazing. She hugs Bell and boops Vee??? amazing.

"Give me your girl skills, you don't need them" perfect.

god I'd forgotten about "room for Jesus", there's a throwback. actually i met a guy named jesus the other night. that was weird-- BLORBO FROM CHRISTIANITY????? crying laughing that's amazing.

(Roommate: Wait, what does 'blorbo' mean? Me: You're on tumblr now. You'll understand soon enough.)

NO STOP THE PAIRING UP IS TOO CUTE I CAN'T

The dresses are coming. I can smell them. The dresses are coming.

I relate so much with Emile's struggle to transport outfits without any catastrophe along the way haha. also, Mr. Adams is so nice?? My heart.

i'm on desktop I can't do the clap emoji so we'll compromise-- let [clap] Bell [clap] murder [clap] women [clap] by [clap] being [clap] hot [clap]

(Roommate: What was the term? Blorzen? Me: ...Blorbo. Roommate: Ah. ... "A person's beloved character from media." Pfft. [Other roommate], is Jesus your beloved character? Other roommate: What??)

okay I'm gonna just list what each person is wearing so I can refer back to it later. for no reason at all. it's fine. this is fine. everything's fine. (in order of mention, for my own sanity)

Bell: leather and gold armor over short crimson dress (picturing vampire costume from 2017ish, ask about ruching(?), type of armor?) Virgil: 1900s, low neckline and layered sleeves, chiffon ombré silver-purple, train (and imagining those victorian shoes with a million buttons on them-- technically the victorian era as far as fashion is concerned was like 1830s-90s so wouldn't have been worn with this type of dress but shhh-- specifically these in the same silver as the top) Remy: cowl neck, sleeveless dark blue with gold glitter and stars (embroidered?), black suit pants and jacket (and I'm choosing to believe he's wearing high heels that match the shirt) (no tie, assuming via cowl neck) Logan: dark blue suit jacket and pants with gold embroidery (constellations) (research springtime constellations in ohio/ask around if there are Appalachian-specific constellations), black button-up and tie* Patton: (ask mom if we donated her big-ass-bow dress for a reference) "most ludicrous, campy, powder-blue 80s prom dress" Kai: powder blue suit with white ruffled shirt Ellie: pale yellow to gold, orange, pink, purple ombré (picturing as layered ruffle skirt) Lauren: sunset orange suit, purple mock-neck, gold scarf Emile: "long white and pink floral shift with a ruffle hem and sleeves" (actually sounds very similar to the pattern I've got for the wedding dress, nice) Thomas: white and pink floral shirt, white suit and tie Roman: lamé suit, red with gold shirt + bow tie Sloan: lamé suit, gold with red shirt + bow tie Corbin: pinstriped suit in silver and purple, purple suit lapels, silver shirt (tie? waistcoat to match corset detail)

[keyboard smash here] I love all of them so much and my brain is in the microwave now. no, the microwave isn't violent enough. my brain is in the dryer. anyway

lol the makeup is real cute, and I'm obsessed with Bell's look holy crap

I do not have the time right now but I swear to gosh darn heck that I'm gonna make a post looking into the flowers and meanings and putting pictures of them next to each other. for now, lists

Remy: (boutonniere) eastern bluestars, white poppies, dusty miller flower greens Logan: (boutonniere?) eastern bluestars, white poppies, dusty miller flower greens Emile: (boutonniere) bellflower, white carnation Thomas: (corsage) bellflower, tiny pink carnation, pink dahlia Kai: (boutonniere) blue lace flowers, baby’s breath, white gardenia Patton: (crown) blue lace flowers, baby’s breath, tiny blue and yellow hydrangea Virgil: (corsage) lavender, clematis, lily-of-the-valley Corbin: (crown) lavender, clematis, baby's breath Roman: (corsage) red, orange, and yellow roses, red pansies Sloan: (corsage) red, orange, and yellow roses, red pansies Ellie: (crown) safflower, lilac, pink peonies Lauren: (boutonniere) safflower, bird-of-paradise Bell: (garland) red-orange sunflowers

oh my fucking god, Remy setting off a firecracker is absolutely amazing

Okay, Mr. Hatcher is great, note to self to send Vi an ask about him in the near future lol

Virgil [handshake emoji] the Adams Elliot is sibling-shaped

Screaming with joy at Lauren thinking the whole group was a polycule this is amazing-- Schrodinger’s polycule?!?!?!?!!! I love it

Oh no, this Bell + Vee interaction is gonna kill me a little, isn't it.

I was right, it killed me a little, and I loved it.

*I've been accumulating items to make Mollymauk's coat (and the rest of the cosplay lol) from Critical Role and good lord do I relate to the start-print frustration. On the upside, making a D&D cosplay lets me kinda throw all reality out the window as it's convenient for me.

(Also, shit, I thought I had my graduation outfit picked out, but now I want to try and make Logan's suit. hnnnnnnnnnnn.)

[larix-laricina]

OK, WOW. THAT EP. HOLY CRAP.

I need to unpack this cuz there was ,,, oh my god..

SPOILERS FOR TPOT 14

OK FIRST OFF, GATY NOOOOOOOOOO

THEYRE SO SAD, THEYRE SUCH A SOPPING WET SAD CAT I CANT. THEY LOST THEIR FRIEND, IM GONNA CRY.

But also????? Oh my god??????

THREE IS CROSSED OUT WHY IS THREE CROSSED OUT, WHAT HAPPENED WITH THEM ALL, WHAT WHY I NEED TO KNOW

I also just wanna say that this scene was epic and I love this team sm. I'm so sad they lost I love them all too much and I'll cry next ep during the elimination.

BUT THEN YOU ALSO HAVE THIS???

WHAT. THE PLACE WHERE THE ELIMINATED CONTESTANTS GO?? TWO'S VERSION OF THE EXIT????? I wanna know more. Like right now.

AND SPEAKING OF ELIMINATED CONTESTANTS

OMG MATCH IN THE PILLARY RUINS. WHERE BUBBLE AND RUBY ARE. IM GONNA SCREAM

And finally, honorable mentions in this ep:

FIREY JUNIOR, YAYYYYYYYYY HES ACTUALLY ALIVE

HOLY SHIT, WINNER'S FIREPROOF???? THATS SO COOL TO ME (I also just really like winner so I'm biased)

Anyways, 10/10, loved this ep and PLEASE VOTE TREE IF THE AUSTRALIAN PACIFIST IS ELIMINATED ILL CRY. I NEED ASTROBIOLOGY TO STAY TOGETHER

[musicalfan78]

Every saga in a mf78 nutshell (PT 3)

pt 1, Pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9

*STORM*

Odysseus: Okay so, since we escaped from that horrible cyclops, we're definitely going to survive this storm! KEEP ROWING!

Crew: YES SIR!

Eurylochus: I have a strange feeling about this...

Perimedes and elpenor: CAPTAIN! AN ISLAND!

Odysseus/Eurylochus: HOLY CRAP!

Odysseus: We need harpoons.

Eurylochus: For what?

Odysseus: We're gonna shoot it in the sky! :D

Eurylochus: I beg your finest pardon?

*shoots for the sky*

*LUCK RUNS OUT*

Eurylochus: This seems like a bad idea Ody!

Odysseus: Buut, this can help us, for its the home of the wind god!

Eurylochus: We can't confirm that?

Odysseus: ....listen here second in command, how many fucking floating islands have you seen before? And the answer is this! Im going up there.

Eurylochus: But what if you piss off this god?

Odysseus: Ehhh, ill see. Okay byeeee

*KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE*

Odysseus: HEY UH, AEOLUS, BUDDY, I NEED YOUR HELP TO GET HOME. ...PLEASE?

Aeolus: Hahahaha! I'll help you, but on one little condition!

Odysseus: And what's that?

Aeolus: Just don't open this bag and you'll make it home safe and sound! :)

Odysseus: *Gets back onto the ship*

Perimedes: Yo captain! What's in the bag?

Elpenor: Is there interesting stuff?!

Odysseus: Its very dangerous so we must-

Winions: GOLD :D

Odysseus: ....uh

Perimedes: OPEN THE BAG!

Elpenor: OPEN THE BAG!

Odysseus: uhh no.

(dreams, ooo, dreams)

Odysseus: MY WIFE! MY SON! IM GETTING HOME!

Dream!Penelope/Dream!Telemachus: They're opening the wind bag

Odysseus: FUCK-

Aeolus: I warned you not to open it! >:(

Odysseus: BUT IT WASNT ME!

Aeolus: So? :/

Odysseus: UGH, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO?

Aeolus: The land of the giiiaaants. *fades away*

Odysseus: EURY! HELP ME CLOSE THIS!

Eurylochus: BUT, ITS TOO LATE!

Odysseus: SO?!

*The two try to close the wind bag, they later to succeed, but then...*

Poseidon: SURPRIIIIISE YA BITCH!

*RUTHLESSNESS*

Odysseus: Oh crap- listen uh, we-

Poseidon: SILENCE! You don't deserve to explain to me after you hurted my son!

Odysseus: That baby I dropped was yours?!

Poseidon: What? No! I meant that Cyclops you stabbed in the eye and practically doxxed yourself to!

Odysseus: Ohhhh. We needed to escape and all, nothing much!

Poseidon: You made him cry, and now I'm gonna make you pay for it. WATER WAVES!

558 men: OH SHIT- *gets drowned in the water*

Odysseus: NOOOOOO!

Poseidon: All I gotta do is just end you next, any last words...?

Odysseus: Yeah...

Odysseus: Omae wa, mo shinderu...

Poseidon: What?

Odysseus: *OPENS THE REST OF THE WIND BAG*

Poseidon: SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!

*The crew is now away from Poseidon*

Poseidon: I WILL BE BACK! JUST YOU SEEEEEE!

[dragonmuse]

I am shaking crying screaming after reading your BEAUTIFUL grown-up bad kids fic. That fic summary was SO misleadingly simple compared to the magnificent NOVEL you wrote (it's literally more words than the Great Gatsby)

Genuinely, seriously, if you were to ever expand that universe into the past or future, you have a die-hard fan of your work in your backpocket!! I'm gonna gather my thoughts fully (because I only just finished it) and put a proper comment in Ao3, but HOLY CRAP. You should be so proud of yourself for writing this. Really.

The little revealed bits of past history. The drop-dead funny moments that got me failing to stifle my laugh in the middle of a seminar. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!

Thank you so so so much! I'm so happy you liked it! I am already working on a second story from Fabian's POV that takes vignettes from every year of his life from fifteen to thirty-five. I'm really enjoying hanging with them!

[mileymint]

I keep forgetting I'm friends with THE @electrozeistyking and then proceed to get jumpcared seeing her in my notes. Like holy crap guys look at my awesome popular friend who's super good at art, I'm just a little guy but they think I'm cool too

Idk how to explain this feeling but yeah I'm definitely feeling it

This applies to a very large amount of my mutuals also. I love you all so much and this is honestly insane to me. I'm gonna throw up and cry /affectionate

I WILL be annoying and brag about having yall as friends, I can't even put it into words how much everyone here means to me

Like GUYS look at @yadchi-i-guess and @leefl00f , these guys are so cool

Lookit @cherrysandcats ‼️‼️ LOOK AT EM‼️‼️‼️

LOOK AT @sweatertheman AND @mirror-ralsei AND @pap03 AND @zixzs-ajk AND @itslilacokay ‼️‼️

I HAVE SO MANY COOL FRIENDSFJABDKANFK!!!!!!